Connect with us
Advertisment

society

2023: Outgoing Herdsman, Incoming Bala Blu By Tunde Odesola

Published

on

2023: Outgoing Herdsman, Incoming Bala Blu By Tunde Odesola

Are dogs clairvoyant? People in the market square believe so. Mouths ajar, traders watched as over half a dozen village dogs barked and wagged their tails menacingly against the three notorious town criers, raising dust and eyebrows.

Advertisment

Protected by the king’s baton-wielding guards, the head of the town criers, Hadji Lie, smiled and pretended as if the dogs were the king’s pets. The angry dogs barked the more, advancing and retreating, kicking up more dust, threatening. Whaw! Whaw!!

Hadji Lie’s smile broadened into a grin, revealing an infamous diastema. Like his political party, the Association of Professional Crooks (APC), Hadji Lie is from the tribe of the lion of Judas.

Advertisment

Exceptionally gifted, Hadji Lie doesn’t need to wrack his brain for a lie; all he needs to do is just to open his mouth and the appropriate lie for the occasion will flow, it’s a natural endowment, just like biting is natural to snake.

Close

Like Hadji Lie, the other two town criers, Sherwood Gharubba, and Femi(nine), – so called because he swam nine rivers from his village to earn a place in the king’s palace, wrapped their plain cloths round their bodies and tied them in a knot over their shoulders like the three statues in Lagos.

Advertisement

Hadji Lie: (Stops at the centre of the square, sounding his metal gong and shouting.) Yan uwa! Igbo kwenu! Kere o! (No one responds.) (He smiles, coughs, clears his throat and tries again.)

Hadji Lie: Yan Naijeria! Umu Naija! Gbogbo omo Naija! (A few people stepped out to the front of their stalls to listen. Some murmured, many hissed.)

Hadji Lie: (Continues, unperturbed.) I bring good tidings from the paramount owner of all the living and nonliving things in Naija. I can see everyone, including these friendly dogs (dogs bark), is enjoying the abundant life promised by Hiss Excellency. This time tomorrow, at the same venue, Hiss Excellency wishes to address the Naijerian nation on his eight-year stewardship, and also present to you his worthy successor. In his tradition of transparency, the ultimate monarch will entertain questions from all quarters, including opposition groups and the press. Did I speak well?

(Market people, who had increased in number while Lie was speaking, continued murmuring.)

The next day, the sun scorched the earth. Yet, the market square was like a pack of sardines. If you throw a needle up among the crowd, it can’t find its way to the ground. The needle would be held by the jam-packed bodies of the crowd with grim faces, nostrils blowing hot air and arms with wiry hairs like sandpaper. The Lekki tollgate scene flashed across the minds of the people as the king’s guards whacked batons on people’s heads, telling them to bend down so that people at the high table could have a better view of Hiss Excellency at the podium.

(The MC, Oke Bakassy, introduces the king to a round of applause.)

Hiss Excellency: Fellow Naijerians, I greet you all. My fipu, it is my joy to present my stewardship after almost eight years of meritorious service to God and fatherland. It is a thing of joy to inform you that my administration has cleared the Boko Haram terrorists from the North-East as I promised. It was not an easy task, but commitment, focus and patriotism saw us through.

(Murmurings rend the air.)

Hiss Excellency: It is my joy that my administration has been able to place the nation on the path of economic prosperity, massive employment opportunities, technological breakthroughs, 24-hour power supply, unprecedented improvements in road, health and educational infrastructure, improved agricultural yields, cattle herders’ immunity and Fulani superiority. Unfortunately, some people predicted my death, they even said that I’m dead. They said one Jubrila from the neighbouring village is the one engaging my beautiful wife in the oza room; walahi, e no go better for some fipu…

(Femi(nine) runs up to the king and whispers into his ears.)

Hiss Excellency: Femi(nine), I don’t care if I’m on national TV or not! National TV my foot! Today, this nation will see the oza side of me! Maybe today is the day the dog and the baboon will be soaked in blood. Haba, Naijerians have been very ungrateful to me and my family. They said my wife lives abroad; does she not have freedom of movement? They said my children are superrich; are the children of my predecessors poor? Femi(nine), I’m not seeking an election again, let me tell them a piece of my mind today!…

(Femi(nine) and Gharubba run to the podium to whisper to Hiss Excellency.)

Hiss Excellency: Ok, I’ve calmed down. I’m ready for their questions now. But it’s fire-for-fire today, I swear!

South-East press: Your Excellency, you lied on the issue of insecurity, sir. Insecurity has worsened across the country with banditry, kidnapping and ethnic agitation daily claiming lives across the country.

Hiss Excellency: Are you South-East press or Labour press? May you not labour in vain. I promised an end to Boko Haram, and I have done that; banditry, kidnapping and violent ethnic agitation weren’t deadly when I became president. I didn’t make promises on those. And I’ve said it repeatedly that we’ll speak to your people in the dot of a circle in the language they understand. I’m not joking! Boko Haram is no longer a major threat to my people, you too tell your people to stop the nonsense killings they’re doing.

Pin-Di-Pin: Your administration is the worst in the history of the country in terms of corruption, nepotism, hypocrisy and insensitivity. Banditry in the North, kidnapping nationwide and ethnic agitation in the South-East constitute insecurity…

Hiss Excellency: Eeh! Stop there! Was it not your grand patron, Ebora de Farmer, that introduced corruption to Naijeria’s 4th Republic by bribing to get a third term and impeaching South-East senate presidents? Where are the billions of dollars for electricity that went down the drain during the Ebora-Atike years? Whether you people like it or not, I know who’s going to succeed me.

Market people: Who

Hiss Excellency: The Lion of Bourdillon!

Market people: Ha!?

Hiss Excellency: Yes, because he’s far better and more experienced than the ever lying, whining OB-China, who corruptly muddled family business with state business, and who couldn’t point to one achievement he recorded in Awka, except feed the people with alcohol. (Murmurings.) The god of Bourdillon is incomparable to Atike, the driver of Special Purpose Vehicles of corruption, whose former oga called a thief…Chief Siwaju, the god of Lagos, please, stand up and wave to the crowd.

(Murmurings)

Bourdillon: (Smiles, waves on his seat and attempts to stand up.) He rose halfway to his feet and got stranded, transfixed like a goalkeeper aiming to stop a penalty kick. Some stalwarts rushed to the scene but he remained stooping like a goalkeeper, tamely saying, bala blu, bulaba, probably an incantation to save the 2023 penalty.)

(In the commotion, Hadji Lie rushes to the podium.)

Hadji Lie: Everyone here should be proud to see Bourdillon observing Islamic prayer. I’ve never seen a man so pious. He decided to pray first before anything else…

(Market people, with dropped jaws, looked at one another, shook their heads and began to leave.)

There’s no hope in 2023. Naijeria’s hope lies in restructuring aka true federalism.

Advertisment

society

Taiwo Oyekan Partners Lagos Fire Service To Sensitize Residents, Traders On Fire Prevention And Safety Tips

Published

on

Taiwo Oyekan Partners Lagos Fire Service To Sensitize Residents, Traders On Fire Prevention And Safety Tips

As Part of his Oversight functions and Community Intervention Initiatives,
The Deputy Leader of Lagos Island Local Government Legislative Arm, Hon. Taiwo Oyekan has taken a step further to organise Sensitization Exercise on Preventive measures for fire outbreak and Practical useful safety tips for Locals across the Island.

Advertisment

According to Hon. Oyekan, the exercise became necessary following persistent Fire Incidents on Lagos Island Local Government Area, Particularly in Market Places and Homes.

“Specifically, this is to forestall future occurrence”, he stated in an electronic message,

Advertisment

The Community Development Crusader urged Residents and Traders to shun practices that could cause fire outbreak.

The officers of the Lagos State Fire and Rescue Service was led by the Chief Fire Officer/Head, Monitoring and Enforcement, Mr. Olukotun Afeez.

While addressing the Traders, he outlined causative factors of Fire and safety tips while his Men demonstrated how to curtail it in Homes and Markets.

Advertisement

Mr. Olukotun charged the Residents and Traders to acquire Fire Extinguishers and/or Smoke Detectors and install in their Homes and Business Premises.

The Fire Service Men and Team TAIWO OYEKAN visited Idumota, Docemo, Mandilas, Ereko/Martins, Balogun Markets and adjoining Communities.

The LSFRS and Team TAIWO OYEKAN jointly distributed Enlightenment Flyers to Traders, Constituents and Passerbys.

The Chief Fire Officer/Head of Monitoring and Enforcement urged Lagosians to call Fire and Emergency Service Providers on 767 or 112; Provide detailed information about the location of inferno.

Hon. Oyekan however reiterated his commitment to qualitative representation and Community Development.

© PTO Media & Strategy Centre

 

.Taiwo Oyekan Partners Lagos Fire Service To Sensitize Residents, Traders On Fire Prevention And Safety Tips

Advertisment
Continue Reading

Politics

Nigeria: The Changing Governance Story

Published

on

Nigeria: The Changing Governance Story

Today, however, Nigeria is home to the largest single-train refinery in the world, with the capacity to process 650,000 barrels of crude per day

Advertisment

 

 

Advertisment

 

 

 

Advertisement

 

 

Nigeria: The Changing Governance Story

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Temitope Ajayi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sahara Weekly Reports That Tracking many stories of remarkable progress currently taking place in Nigeria can be a challenging task. This is so because these important stories are lost to some who daily indulge in the cacophony of adverse reports. These negative news often dominates the headlines.

 

 

 

 

Nigeria: The Changing Governance Story

 

 

 

 

 

With a 24-hour news cycle that tends to focus mainly on distasteful narratives, several Nigerians have been made to accept the view that nothing good is happening in their country.

Those who rely on the mainstream media and social media as the only sources of news and information they consume are the worst hit by the cycle of misinformation that portrays our country as descending rapidly to the edge of the precipice. However, the reality is different: the country is making progress in leaps and bounds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Late Swedish physician and Professor of International Health at Karolinska Institute, Hans Rosling, his son, Ola Rosling, and daughter-in-law, Anna Rosling, extensively dwell on this subject in “Factfulness: Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About the World – and Why Things Are Better Than You Think,” a book published in 2018. In the book, the authors demonstrate that most people are made to hold the wrong notion about the state of the world because the media project data, analyse trends and select stories to make people assume that things are getting worse around them. The authors assert that a majority of people view the world as poorer, less healthy, and a more dangerous place to live in than it actually is. In other words, many people believe they are living in a worse period in the history of mankind because of misinformation.

 

The same situation the Roslings describe in their book is at play in Nigeria, where individuals, interest groups, activists, analysts, self-serving politicians, and opposition elements constantly project and amplify negative stories.

It is as if we are in a race with those who can say the most horrible things about our country. Yet, we have an abundance of good stories to tell the world. We seem so numb to the good news that we are dismissive of breakthroughs and innovative trends. For instance, we downplay the significance of Dangote Petroleum Refinery and its possibilities to reflate the economy.

 

Many people forgot so soon that we had been importing petroleum products for over three decades because the state-owned refineries are moribund. Our national economy bled, and the country was in a fiscal cul-de-sac for those years as a result of subsidy payments on petroleum products.

 

Today, however, Nigeria is home to the largest single-train refinery in the world, with the capacity to process 650,000 barrels of crude per day. Cynics do not see this as a breakthrough.

 

Nigerians who are 60 years old and below started seeing modern rail infrastructure in 2016 when the All Progressives Congress-led administration of former President Muhammadu Buhari commissioned the standard gauge rail system, beginning with the Abuja-Kaduna route, later Lagos-Ibadan and then the Warri-Itakpe.

 

The national rail modernisation project is progressing with Kano-Katsina-Maradi and Kano-Kaduna standard gauge rail projects at different stages of completion. The contractor working on the rehabilitation of the Port Harcourt-Maiduguri narrow gauge recently announced the completion of the Port Harcourt-Aba section. While the Federal Government is rallying stakeholders to promote economic integration across the country, the Lagos State Government recently launched two metro rail lines -Blue and Red Rail lines – as part of the state’s elaborate master plan to build a modern and efficient megacity. Like Lagos State, there are visible signs of remarkable, quantifiable progress in several other states, including Kaduna, Kano, Akwa-Ibom, Rivers, Kebbi, Borno, Gombe, Oyo, Ekiti and Ogun, among others.

 

A few weeks ago, the President Bola Tinubu-led administration embarked on the construction of the 700 kilometres Lagos-Calabar Coastal Highway that will connect nine coastal states in another bold move to bolster economic growth further and open up the country to productive economic activities.

 

While it may be very easy for critics and other armchair analysts to ignore these developments and their significance to remaking Nigeria, there is no gainsaying that these projects and many more that are ongoing or about to be instituted across critical sectors are the core of President Tinubu’s Renewed Hope Agenda. Indeed, it is hard to process why the so-called critics and cynics can not see the Lagos-Calabar Highway project as a clear demonstration of the President’s commitment to harnessing the potential of our renascent Blue Economy.

 

Despite what is bandied by the most vociferous critics

Advertisment
Continue Reading

society

PDP: How Primate Ayodele’s Prophecy Exposed Ex-Rivers Governor, Nyesom Wike (VIDEO)

Published

on

Primate Ayodele’s Fulfilled Prophecies On Venezuela, Naira Fall, Plane Crash, Others

*PDP: How Primate Ayodele’s Prophecy Exposed Ex-Rivers Governor, Nyesom Wike (VIDEO)

 

Advertisment

 

 

Advertisment

The national executive council (NEC) meeting of the People Democratic Party (PDP) that held yesterday further cemented the strength of the former governor of Rivers state, Nyesom Wike and his G-5 group in the party despite the fact that they all worked against the candidate of the party during the 2023 presidential election.

Before the NEC meeting, many political analyst and commentators had predicted that Nyesom Wike, who is a serving minister under the current APC administration will not be admitted into the meeting because of his political affiliations and support for an opposition party but they were all caught by surprise yesterday when the former Rivers state governor was graciously admitted into the meeting.

It became more surprising that Wike’s ally, Umar Damagum was allowed to continue his rule as the acting national chairman of the party despite calls from different sections of the party that he had to step down. All of these only indicate that Nyesom Wike, in spite of his moves against PDP, still has so many grips on the party.

Advertisement

Interestingly, the actions of Nyesom Wike have all been foretold by Nigerian prophet, Primate Elijah Ayodele who has been warning PDP stakeholders to put their house in order. In 2023, the man of God warned that the party will be destroyed by a force and that the party will be separated. He mentioned that Wike has a strategy and he will try his best to install the next chairman of the party because he has an ambition to become the president of Nigeria.

These were his words:

‘’There is a force ready to destroy PDP, if the party doesn’t rise to these big challenges, the party will be separated. One party will go to another party and that will be very tough. PDP should put their house together. Wike has a strategy because he still aims to become a president in Nigeria and is still willing to take over the party. He has not relent in his efforts of becoming president and is ready to hold PDP…..He will want to install the next chairman of PDP and this will begin to cause friction in the party. PDP must watch this’’

@primateayodele

#pdp #wike #nyesomwike #saraki #seyimakinde #pdp #umarilliyea #bukolasaraki #okowa #atiku #atikuabubakar #bala #governorsforum #ngf #primateayodele #iescworldwide

♬ original sound – Primate Ayodele

It is worthy of note that Primate Ayodele has been warning PDP to be wary of Wike’s grievances since 2022. Long before the formation of G-5 governors, Primate Ayodele warned that five governors including Nyesom Wike will work against PDP in the presidential election. He advised the party’s candidate and leadership to ensure the former governor doesn’t leave the party because it will cause jeopardy.

‘’PDP should not allow Wike to leave because if he leaves, the chances of the party in the presidential election will be jeopardized. What Wike is dragging can cause PDP so much that Atiku should try to adjust, and this is not about dominating.

‘’If PDP does not settle its crisis, the party will go into oblivion after 2023; Atiku should consult God, technocrats, and those that love him; otherwise, this Wike’s crisis can sink PDP.’’

Atiku vs Wike: PDP’ll lose presidency, sink into oblivion if Rivers gov leaves – Primate Ayodele

Till today, the crisis the party is experiencing is basically because of the withdrawal of support by Nyesom Wike. The party is currently going into oblivion due to the grievances of Nyesom Wike and the G-5 group. Primate Ayodele’s prophecies already exposed these plans but sadly, the party’s leadership didn’t listen.

Advertisment
Continue Reading

Cover Of The Week

Trending