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An Open Letter Written to Linda Ikeji On Her Relationship Travails By Politican Maria Ude Nwachi
Ebonyi House of Assembly Honourable Maria Ude Nwachi has written a long open letter to Africa’s most successful blogger Linda Ikeji on her relationship travails.
Maria was writing in response to Linda’s recent statement about the type of man she wants.
What she had written below:
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“Linda, you can’t have it both ways…..
I personally did a lot of damage control for Linda Ikeji when it was alleged she said; she can buy any man with her money. I sincerely did not believe she can utter such; as I could not imagine any reasonable human being saying such. I defended her with all my might. I Paid Facebook and Google to boost and promote the article I took my time to create, image-making style, in order to squash that allegation.
Remember, I do not know her in any shape. Never met her. Never spoken with her. I know her the same way millions do, via the fact that she is famous blogger. I Just did it from my heart; for I see her as a role model to women and youths. And I did not want such dent on her image.
Recently, power-blogger, Linda Ikeji, told an interviewer that she can never marry a poor man. Hear her: “No, I can’t marry a poor guy and I’m being honest about it. He doesn’t have to be rich but let him be successful in his own way. When I was 30, my standards were extremely high. Now, I have only three criteria. He must be successful. He must be a good man in the sense that he has to be very supportive of what I do. If he tries to stifle me, I’m out. The third one, is the one that likes to eat groceries well (laughs).”
On her latest statement, I do not agree with her at all. Firstly; a rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. And; no condition in life is ever permanent.
The scariest thing for a man to hear is not even the one of her saying she can’t marry a poor man, it is the one she says that she would be out if a man tries to stifle her. Then she better just create the man from scratch. Because there is no man, especially African man, that will not attempt to stifle his wife every now and then.
That innocuous utterance has already sent strong signals to those successful men she is seeking that they better go and marry someone that will not attempt to wear the trouser at home with them; and not her. It also indicates to those successful men she wants that she will never be submissive in anyway to them; that she no send and is ready for a divorce at any given time. She is basically preempting divorce even before marriage.
Dear Linda, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t eat your cake and have it too. Being a very successful woman in Nigeria, you must be willing to compromise when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex. You might not be a girl, due to your high level, a man can tell what to do or what not to do, but you must not say such out loud, you must give vibes that you can be told what to do by your man, you must do your best to show them the utmost respect, the most respect you can muster to give them. You are going to have to eat humble pies for your man many a times. And it is okay my darling, it will take nothing away from you. Let the man to feel he is in control. You must try and do that. It is not an option, it is necessary.
By your success alone, you have made many men feel a bit less manly, and so to even rub it in by reading them riot acts to them, is an overkill. Humility is a natural gift, those who are humble by nature will remain humble even if they become the richest on earth. But humility can be learned too, in dealing with the opposite sex you will need a mighty doze of humility, nnem, learn it if by force biko. Always remember that a man is a man is man is a man. Respect matter to a man; no matter his status and class.
The major reason men, especially African men are working hard to be successful is so they can get that woman they want, that will give them a peaceful home, and the leeway to be the oga of the house. Why would a man go through it all to make it only to marry a woman who is going to become the man of the house with him.
Important: A man is a man, poor or rich. No man with his head in intact, will be okay for a woman to control him.
Even if the woman is richer than money itself. It will not happen. Even the poorest man on earth would rather be eating his Indomie in peace than to be controlled by any woman. This applies even in the civilized world. This not about pride, this is human nature.
On money: Being rich, poor or broke is not a permanent state of being. Moreover; money is not the be all and end all of life. Some people are very rich today not just by hard work but by force of universe which can also be interpreted as grace. Let us not dismiss people based on their current condition. Moreover, he only thing constant in life is change.
Hear Linda, “I keep telling people. It’s not that men are scarce. They are not scarce. The type of men that some of us are looking for are scarce. If I want to get married next week, I can. I want a man that I can look up to. Somebody that inspires me, somebody that will push me, motivate me; somebody who has had some success in his own career. I’m inspired by successful people. I can’t wait to meet someone like Tyler Perry.”
Now let us talk about the definition of success. According to her, she wants to marry a successful man, but the man does not have to be rich. This is a huge oxymoron (an epigrammatic effect, by which contradictory terms are used in conjunction). Success is defined as; the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. And it does not take a genius to understand that by successful, she means a wealthy man. A man of means. Going by the example she gives as her kind of man, Tyler Perry, she has dropped all the hint any one needs to know concerning her idea of a successful man. Perry is an ultra-rich American actor, comedian, producer, director, screenwriter, playwright, author, and songwriter.
The problem i see with Linda is that she is often too open about her feelings. I will advise that in her search for a man that she should keep some of her criterias private. This is not America, this is not oyibo land where women can say and do anything with minimal or no consequence. Emotional intelligence is knowing your environment and adapting to it; especially when it comes to utterances, actions etc. It is not everything the heart conceives that must be uttered publicly.
Linda, in the end you will have the last laugh, when you are running around with your cute kids doing one or two things and your hubby by your side. When you are compromising and eating them humble pies, think of your family (your own kid/s and man) and it will all be worth it.
By virtue of you being a very successful woman, African woman for that matter, no matter who you marry, it is not going to be easy. But if you do your math properly, do some adjustments and amendments, you won’t have any regrets. Life as we know it is not a bed of roses for anyone, if you have this, you might not have that, so it’s all about compromise and middle-ground.
You are a very public figure. Your public utterances must be guided. By virtue of your rag to riches success story; you have become an involuntary role model to many; including me. You are intelligent but you need to take a class on emotional intelligence. Be very mindful of your public statements please. I wish you more success in life. Thank you.
Sincerely yours,
TINUBU IS THE WISEST MAN EARTH -PROPHET IKURU.
by Collins Nkwocha
Nigerian prophet, prophet Godwin Ikuru of Jehovah Eye Salvation Ministry, Lagos magnetized everyone’s attention when he referred to the president, Bola Ahmed Tinubu as the wisest man on earth regarding the appointment of Daniel Bwala as special Adviser on policy communications.
Speaking to reporters today in Lagos,
Prophet Ikuru applauded the president for choosing him and enunciated that he’s capable of delivering effectively and marketing the Renewed Hope Agenda of the president and urged Nigerians to stop the criticism because of what he said in the past “I’m personally happy with his appointment and I urge Nigerians to forget about the past, forget about what he must have said about the president some years ago which people are now disseminating on the social and taunting him a betrayal that lacks integrity, Nigerians should forget his past because he’s the best choice”.
Prophet Ikuru insisted that Bwala saw the sincerity and genuity of the president’s Renewed Hope Agenda and he decided to partake in it “even if he criticized the president, it was in the past, he saw the sincerity in the Renewed Hope Agenda and decided to join in nation building ,the president is ready to unite everyone in order to build Nigeria,that’s why someone like Wike is in his government,Bwala has what it’s required to be successful under Mr.president, as a wise man, the president saw it and decided to harness it ”
Finally, he praised Tinubu and referred to him as a great leader who is ready to involve everyone in his government, he maintained that his wisdom is magnanimous ,Baba is truly the wisest man on earth.
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Had FFK Faced Mehdi Hassan, Nigeria Would Have Spoken With Fire
By Mohammed Bello Doka
In politics, timing is everything. In diplomacy, character is everything. And in moments of national importance, leadership must be entrusted to individuals who possess not only experience but courage, intellect and an unshakable commitment to the nation they represent.
It is for this reason that the appointment of Chief Femi Fani-Kayode as Nigeria’s Ambassador to a foreign nation stands out as one of the most consequential diplomatic decisions in recent years.
Chief Femi Fani-Kayode, better known in the South as “FFK” and in the North as “Sadauki”, is one of the most brilliant, experienced, accomplished, vocal, respected, educated, profound, intellectual, patriotic, disciplined, well-read, historically literate, versatile, forceful, persuasive, sophisticated, cosmopolitan, charming, eloquent, courageous and resilient men in Nigerian politics and he has paid his dues and proved his worth over the last 35 years in politics and political discourse.
In each role he has played he has excelled and succeeded even when he was in opposition.
His friends value him as a great and loyal defender and his traducers and political adversaries fear and respect him because when he goes to war he is utterly relentless, takes no prisoners and literally spits fire.
How I wish it was him that was interviewed by Mehdi Hassan of Al Jazeera and not the young and inexperienced Daniel Bwala because he would have not only humbled Hassan but also done Nigeria proud.
He played Bwala’s present role in the Presidential Villa 23 years ago as President Olusegun Obasanjo’s spokesman and not only brought the then President’s domestic enemies to their knees but also had a series of very hot exchanges with foreign Government officials like America’s Under-Secreatary of State for Africa Jendaye Fraser and the White House over the Charles Taylor issue and Liberia.
Tinubu decision to appoint him as an Ambassador for our nation was a wise one because he will fight for and protect the interests of Nigeria and the Nigerian community whetever he goes and will never sell his soul or bow to foreign imperialist interests.
His appointment is not about just rewarding loyalty for the key role he played in Tinubu’s presidentiel campaign organisation as Director of New Media and Special Operations in 2023 and the staunch support he has given the President over the last three years but also about putting a square peg in a square hole.
If you want to put Nigeria first Sadauki is the one to do it.
If he runs the Nigerian Mission in the country that he is sent to in the same way he ran the Ministry of Culture and Tourism and the Ministry of Aviation when he was Minister to each of them one after the other twenty years ago he will do very well and both our nation and whichever nation he is posted to itself will benefit from his efforts.
History teaches that diplomacy is most effective when nations deploy individuals who possess both intellect and courage.
As the American statesman Henry Kissinger once noted, “Diplomacy is the art of restraining power.”
To do so successfully requires deep historical awareness and strategic clarity—qualities that have long defined Fani-Kayode’s political career.
Sending a politically seasoned voice like FFK to any nation that is a key partner to Nigeria signals that Bola Ahmed Tinubu intends to strengthen Nigeria’s diplomatic posture with confidence.
Throughout more than three decades in the political arena, Fani-Kayode has remained one of the most resilient and outspoken figures in Nigerian public life despite numerous challenges which would have broken and destroyed lesser men.
Regardless of all that was thrown at him he continues to pull through and come out victorious which is why many refer to him as the “Akanda Eledumare” and the “Ayanfe Oluwa” which mean “the strange one of God” and “the beloved of the Lord”.
There appears to be a divine dimension to his life that makes him unstoppable and irrepressible even though his enemies are legion.
One wonders what sets him apart and makes him so different.
There is no doubt that his education played a part in it and this set him apart from most.
He never went to school in Nigeria but was educated from the age of eight in England starting off at Holmewood House School in Kent, one of the UK’s best and most famous Preparatory schools, after which he attended the famous Harrow School just outside London which is, together with Eton College, an institution that is the exclusive preserve of high society in the UK, one of the two best private schools in that country where only the ruling elite, the rich, the well-to-do, the famous and only a tiny proportion of those in British high society can afford or even qualify to attend.
No less than eight British Prime Ministers, including the great Sir Winston Churchill, and countless British cabinet ministers attended Harrow and so did many leaders, diplomats and top politicians from many foreign countries.
After finishing at Harrow he attended some of the top universities in the world, including London University (SOAS) and Cambridge University (Pembroke College) where he did so well.
As a matter of fact his great grandfather, Rev. Emmanuel Adelabi Kayode, attended Furrough Bay College which at that time was part of Durham University and graduated with an MA (Hons.) in Theology in 1893. His grandfather Justice Adedapo Kayode attended Cambridge University (Selwyn College) where he studied law and graduated in 1922. His father Chief Remilekun Fani-Kayode attended Cambridge University (Downing College) where he studied law and graduated in 1943. Sadauki himself graduated in law at Cambridge University (Pembroke College) in 1984 whilst his daughter Folake Fani-Kayode graduated from Durham University in 2009.
No African family has an uninterrupted streak of 116 years of Oxbridge-level university graduates except for the Fani-Kayode’s which is something that both his family and every patriotic Nigerian should be proud of.
It therefore makes perfect sense that a man from such a distinguished pedigree and intimidating lineage and that has such an extraordinary intellectual heritage should represent Nigeria on the international stage.
There is also his role in the debate on Gaza which made him a hero in the eyes of millions of people in the Global South both amongst Christians and Muslims.
He spoke out consistently about what he described as the genocide being committed against the Palestinians and he was prepared to put his life and career on the line for this cause even though most Nigerian leaders and politicians refused to say what he was saying publicly out of fear of the Zionist lobby and the Jewish state.
His sense of patriotism is unquestionable and nothing reflects this better than his series of essays written against Kemi Badenoch, the leader of the British Opposition Conservative Party and his write up against one Ben Llewelyn-Jones, who at that time was the Deputy British High Commissioner to Nigeria, when the former consistently sought to insult and denigrate Nigeria and the Nigerian people and the latter attempted to interfere in our internal affairs by making statements in support of Peter Obi and his Obidients in the 2023 presidential elections.
Sadauki successfully put them both in their place and when American Senator Ted Cruz, President Donald Trump, Congressman Tim Riley and other American politicians began to peddle the false narrative and fake gospel of Christian genocide and persecution in Nigeria Sadauki, a devout Christian himself, rose to the challenge and more than any other Nigerian wrote about the issue in a series of essays pointing out the fact that as many Muslims were being killed as Christians by the terrorists in our country and that Christians were not being persecuted by our Government and are in fact faring better when it comes to positions in the security apparatus and governance under Tinubu than they did in the previous administration.
He also spoke out boldly against President Trump and his administration when they accused the Government of South Africa of indulging in genocide against the white minority population in their country and pointed out the fact that South Africa, like Brazil, was a shining example of a successful multi-ethnic, multi-religious and multi-cultural nation that was treating its white minority population with the greatest respect. Few Africans said a word to defend South Africa at the time even though they knew that Trump was wrong but Sadauki did so without thinking twice.
He is clearly a strong Pan-Africanist and a believer in the importance of the African Union, African solidarity, the BRICS coalition and the Global South alliance comprising of China, Russia, South Africa, India, Saudi Arabia, Turkey and other emerging world powers.
This is commendable and it reflects his courage and disdain for those that display ignorance, disdain and contempt for our nation and people and that seek to denigrate and misrepresent us.
Sadauki is not the type that bows and quivers before Westerners like so many other Nigerian leaders and politicians but rather takes pride in his Nigerian culture, race, heritage and identity and is prepared to defend us and speak for us no matter whose ox is gored and who is involved.
In an increasingly competitive global environment, Nigeria requires diplomats capable not only of negotiation but also of defending national interests with conviction.
If the energy, eloquence and intellectual fire that have defined Fani-Kayode’s political life accompany him to the country to which he has been posted, his tenure may well become one of the most consequential chapters in Nigeria’s modern diplomatic engagements.
I wish him well and I thank God that he is back in the saddle of public office after so many years.
What more could any of us ask of this great and noble son of Nigeria?
This is undoubtedly the quality of personnel and leaders that we need on the international stage.
I hope and pray that in his endeavours and during the course of his work he meets with Mehdi Hassan in a debate and prove to him and the rest of the world that Nigeria still has men that can not only match them but that can also remove their trousers in any verbal encounter. Bwala put us to shame but FFK can redeem us before the eyes of the world.
(Mohammed Bello Doka, the author of this essay, is the publisher of Abuja Network News and can be reached via [email protected])
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