celebrity radar - gossips
Hushpuppi: Fugitive supercop and his godfather
Hushpuppi: Fugitive supercop and his godfather By Tunde Odesola
The pride of lions lounge under the baobab. Some look at the sky belly-up in gratitude to nature. Some crouch on their warm, filled bellies, swishing their tails to the music of the wind and the shine of the sun.
Like fleeting ghosts, three monkeys, from nowhere, suddenly descended on the pride; giving a knock on the head here, a slap on the face there – in an unrehearsed choreographic raid that could’ve ended in instant death.
Jaws drop, breaths pause; before the eyelids could bat, the monkeys disappeared high up into the safety of the tree, laughing madly. All at once, the lions had sprung to their feet, ready to defend their den to the death, cursing when they realised it was the mocking monkeys again. One day monkey go go market, e no go return, the lions rued.
Now, the snarling lions watched intently as the monkeys jumped from one tree branch to the other, dangling dangerously from the tip of the dry branches. Suddenly, a twig snapped and a big monkey was in freefall. He grabbed another branch, but that also snapped, and death was waiting on the ground.
As powerful teeth dug into the jugular of the monkey, a fugitive policeman called Abba Kyarry jerks awake from sleep, holding his neck, shouting, “Lions! FBI lions! Mai Gaskiya, save me! Mai Gaskiya, kare ni daga hakorin zakin FBI!” He held his neck with both hands, shook it to be sure it was still on his head, feeling with his fingers to see if it was dripping blood. He was dripping sweat.
Kyarry’s wife, Hadjia, dashes into his room, switches on the light, and sees the wreck her husband had become. He looks like he just got out of the River Niger. She perceives a strange smell, like concentrated ammonia acid; Kyarry has urinated in bed.
Hadjia: (Breaks down crying) I thought Bala the Marabout said you won’t have nightmares again?
Kyarry: Yes, that was what he said. And he got millions of naira from me.
Hadjia: As Marabout Bala directed, did you pluck some of your eyelids and put them on your head to make the FBI forget your case?
Kyarry: I have pulled all my eyelids out. None is remaining there. Look, see. (He leans forward in bed to show his wife his face) I just had a bad dream in which I fell from a tree, and lions wearing FBI uniforms sank their teeth into my neck, that was why I shouted from my sleep.
Hadjia: I think you should call Marabout Bala. Maybe he would give you a potion to ward off the ceaseless FBI nightmare. Where’re your phones?
Kyarry: (Pointing to his wardrobe) They’re there in the pockets of my uniform.
Hadjia: (Brings out his phones together with some bales of dollars) Ha, mai gida?! Dollars again?
Kyarry: I’m sorry, Hadjia, I can’t resist the smell of dollars. It has become an obsession, but I resisted the naira bribe I was given today, I didn’t collect it.
(Hadjia dials Marabout Bala and gives the phone to Kyarry)
Marabout: Incoming Inspector General! How’re you?
Kyarry: I’m not fine o. Lions ate me up.
Marabout: Lions? Did you go to Yankari Games Reserve ne? I hope they didn’t eat your hands?
Kyarry: No, why did you ask if they ate my hands, marabout?
Marabout: How will you be receiving physical offerings if they ate your hands? You know, the hands and pockets are the policeman’s greatest assets.
Kyarry: What can I do for the FBI to forget me and to ward off my nightmares, Marabout Bala?
Marabout: I told you to pull out one or two of your eyelids and put them on your head everyday.
Kyarry: I’ve pulled out all my eyelids. I have none again. What do I do now, my blood pressure is reaching up to heaven? I’m tired of all this trauma, I’m ready to expose all the ogas I give returns to. I won’t go down alone, I swear!
Marabout: Stop swearing, you need to call Mai Gaskiya in Azoo-Roc. Tell him that I said your days are numbered because the FBI are closing in. Tell him I said he should allow you to come and live inside Azoo-Roc, otherwise, the Lions of FBI will eat you up soon.
Kyarry: (Clutches his phone and touches his neck gingerly) Don’t let them eat my neck, Marabout Bala. I’ll call Mai Gaskiya now now! Please, hold on. (He reaches for another customised phone and dials. A familiar voice comes through saying Mai Gaskiya was just finishing a bowl of tuwo shinkafa and miyan kuka, urging Kyarry to hold on.)
Mai Gaskiya: (Picking his teeth) My beloved son, how’re you? I hope you’ve not gone on social media again? Don’t go there again, you hear? Problems will not finish for Nigeria, Nigerians’ll shout and soon forget about your case. Also, don’t do cut and sew for people again.
Kyarry: Yes, sir! Mai Gaskiya, I’m in trouble, sir! Everyday, my conscience is troubling me, sir. I see scary things, sir. Today, FBI lions were about to eat me in my sleep…
Mai Gaskiya: But, are you not a supercop again? Was it not in nightclubs that you used to meet Hushpuppi and all those criminal celebrities? Don’t you listen to music in nightclubs?
Kyarry: Yes, I do, sir.
Mai Gaskiya: Don’t you hear that Zazoo boy that sings, ‘Kala, sanju pa, le ju pa, hu’wa ika, ma rerin…?’
Kyarry: (Chuckles) Ha, Mai Gaskiya, how did you know this song, sir?
Mai Gaskiya: So, you think it’s only you people that know how to enjoy? My children taught me the song, and I danced to it with them. I can dance Zazoo, Warisi, Zanku, Shakiti Bobo etc. Me, I don’t let anything bother me. Nowadays, when I’m making a decision, I remember Zazoo lyrics, ‘kala, sanju pa, le ju pa, wu’wa ika, ma rerin…meaning: ‘Frown, glare, scowl, be ruthless, don’t smile… ’ That’s how to lead Nigerians. Anyone who wants to become IG must be as hard as rock.
Kyarry: Yes, sir! Sir, my marabout said the dream I had is an indication that the FBI are around, that I may be abducted and flown to America for trial, sir. He said I should tell you to allow me to come live with you, sir.
Mai Gaskiya: Live with me? How’re you going to escape the prying eyes of those press boys?
Kyarry: I can come disguised like a female, sir.
Mai Gaskiya: You mean you’ll paint your eyes and lips like yarinya?
Kyarry: Yes, sir!
Mai Gaskiya: (Bursts into laughter) You this boy, you’re a criminal, walahi! This shows that truly you know how to catch criminals. You’ll be IG soon, insha Allah!
Kyarry: Thank you, sir.
Mai Gaskiya: Do you know why I didn’t extradite you to America?
Kyarry: No, sir.
Mai Gaskiya: Firstly, it’s because you’re nuts, no, I mean North. Secondly, because you’re our poster boy for integrity, anti-corruption and security.
Kyarry: Thank you, sir.
Mai Gaskiya: But how did you allow yourself to be caught so cheaply by the FBI?
Kyarry: It’s the work of the devil, sir?
Mai Gaskiya: Don’t tell me it’s the work of the devil. It’s the work of your greed and stupidity. Can’t you see the way I operate? Have you ever heard my name mentioned for corruption in this country?
Kyarry: No, sir.
Mai Gaskiya: Even the Jaguar of Borgu, and the Redim Pastor, that one that wears a cap and speaks like a saint; have you heard them indicted for any corruption allegations?
Kyarry: No, sir.
Mai Gaskiya: Toh, the secret is we all know how to chop, using other people’s hands. With what do you think I sent my children to universities abroad? Stones? You must learn to use other people’s hands. That’s the first law in the art of deceit.
Kyarry: Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!
Email: tundeodes2003@yahoo.com
Facebook: @tunde odesola
Twitter: @tunde_odesola
celebrity radar - gossips
ERELU OLAJUMOKE, AN ALLURING CHARMING BEAUTY MAJESTICALLY CLIMBED THE FIFTH FLOOR
ERELU OLAJUMOKE, AN ALLURING CHARMING BEAUTY MAJESTICALLY CLIMBED THE FIFTH FLOOR
…Celebrates Golden Jubilee In Glitz and Amazing Glory
She is a damsel, an embodiment of beauty, brain and brawn, possessing the best of qualities any discerning mind would dream of. She is no one else than Erelu Olajumoke, Erelu of Ifetedo Kingdom and founder/Chief Executive Officer of Erelu Olajumoke Foundation. Very industrious, illustrious and extremely hardworking, Erelu Olajumoke, the Iya Ijo of Bishop Court Chapel in Alagbaka Akure will on Saturday, the 20th of April, 2024 celebrate her 50th birthday, stepping majestically into the fifth floor and marking a golden jubilee that looks every inch, good on her.
The effervescent, glamorous and charismatic Erelu Olajumoke is an enigma, a colossus who has contributed immensely to humanity and the entire global economy. She is graciously blessed with the spirit of giving. Erelu Olajumoke, a magnanimous lady of substance, value and valor has been practically involved in various forms of empowerment, spreading love, passion and absolute generosity to the poor, the needy, the old (elderly), orphans, widows/widowers, the impoverished, the underprivileged and the intimidated members of the society. Endowed with an uncommon traits of great-heartedness, Erelu Olajumoke took it upon herself to alleviate the poverty levels of the people by directly, impacting on their lives.
Oftentimes, this legendary philanthropist, who is very much aware of the fact that health is indeed wealth, has organized various medical outreach programmes that yielded great impact on beneficiaries. Through Erelu Olajumoke Foundation, this amazon of beauty has transformed the lives of many, bringing in, health care professionals from around the globe to give succor to those with health challenges. Her roles in the rejuvenation and revamping of people’s health are awesome and iconic. Those who have benefitted from her tremendous medical contributions would always say lofty tales about her.
As an outstandingly committed child of God, Erelu Olajumoke who is currently basking in the euphoria of clocking 50, has been and still involved in fundraising activities towards her church and evangelism. Her passion and zeal for spreading the good news of God, winning souls into the Kingdom of God and expunging sinners from the gory dungeons of sin are highly recognized and commendable. She is absolutely emotional and animated to the church, the Gospel and everything about her Creator.
An extremely supportive partner, Erelu Olajumoke is simply, the strongest pillar of support to the political and democratic achievements of her beau, the distinguished Senator Oluwole Olubiyi Fadeyi, the dynamic and zestful Senator representing Osun Central Senatorial District at the Upper Chamber of the National Assembly, Abuja.
As a matter of fact, Erelu Olajumoke has displayed so much affection for the amiable Senator through unwavering support, unalloyed devotion to his democratic ideologies and strategies coupled with her reciprocating fondness for the people her hubby represents at the Red Chambers. Erelu Olajumoke synergized her benevolent acts with those of her beloved Senator Olubiyi Fadeyi by catering for constituency needs under his Osun Senatorial District covering Osogbo, Ila, Boripe, Odo-Otin, Boluwaduro, Ifedayo, Irepodun, Olorunda and Orolu Local Government Areas.
The ‘birthday girl’, Erelu Olajumoke regularly extends her olive oil of love, passion and care for all widowed women and men in these communities not excluding helpless and hopeless orphans, out of school children, those experiencing excruciating poverty amongst other less-privileged within the Osun Central Senatorial District and beyond. Erelu stands as a rock of Gibraltar, upholding the democratic values of her hubby with in-depth determination, perseverance and tenacity. As the First Lady of Osun Central Senatorial District, Erelu Olajumoke has performed meritoriously contributing immensely to the successful foray and great achievements of her best friend, her best adviser, best confidant and above all best lover, the distinguished Senator Ajagunla Oluwole Olubiyi Fadeyi, the Tayese II of Ifetedo Kingdom.
With the input and advise from Erelu Olajumoke, Senator Olubiyi Fadeyo has brought new hope to the good people of Osun Central Senatorial District, giving our palliatives and economic empowerment equipments like buses, cars, motorcycles, tricycles, hairdressing equipments, barbing gadgets, grinding machines, freezers amongst other vital poverty alleviation to drastically and astronomically reduce poverty from the shores of that senatorial district.
In a nutshell, Erelu Olajumoke, who will be gathering high net-worth dignitaries, top celebrities, society bigwigs, powerful political stalwarts, family, friends and well-wishers come Saturday to celebrate her joining the club of the 50s, could be described as an awesomely delectable queen with an uncommon heart of gold.
Happy birthday to this rare gem, a blessing to humanity and the solid pillar of support behind one of Nigeria’s most reliable Senators, Ajagunla Olubiyi Oluwole Fadeyi.
Barrister Olaitan Ilori
celebrity radar - gossips
Celebrating Aare Sir Shina Akanni : The Pinnacle of Fuji Music (Photos) – Alhaji Arems
Celebrating Aare Sir Shina Akanni : The Pinnacle of Fuji Music (Photos) – Alhaji Arems
As the dawn breaks on April 19, the vibrant and rhythmic world of Fuji music celebrates a monumental occasion—the birthday of Aare Sir Shina Akanni, a maestro whose name is synonymous with the genre itself. Today, not only does he add another year to his illustrious life, but he also cements his place as the most highly rated act in the realm of Fuji music.
Aare Sir Shina Akanni, often hailed as the Fuji Scorpido, has been a beacon of innovation and excellence in Fuji music for decades. His unique voice and high level of composition have earned him the respect and admiration of fans and peers alike. On this special day, we reflect on the journey of a man who has not only mastered his craft but has also become the yardstick by which all other Fuji acts are measured.
Born into the vibrant culture of Mushin, Lagos, Aare Sir Shina Akanni’s musical journey began at a young age. His passion for Fuji music was evident from the start, and over the years, he has released over 30 albums, each one a testament to his dedication and talent. His works such as “Fuji Discovery Medley” and “Shina Medley” have become staples in the Fuji music scene, played and replayed by those who appreciate the depth of his artistry.
But what truly sets Aare Sir Shina Akanni apart is his ability to stay at the pinnacle of Fuji music for over two decades. It’s a feat that speaks volumes about his consistency and the unwavering quality of his music. His latest album, “ABCD,” is yet another example of his musical prowess and innovation, showcasing a blend of traditional Fuji rhythms with contemporary elements.
As we celebrate Aare Sir Shina Akanni’s birthday, it’s not just another year that we’re marking; it’s the celebration of a legacy that has shaped and will continue to shape the future of Fuji music. His influence extends beyond the borders of Nigeria, touching lives and inspiring musicians around the globe.
On this day, the Fuji music community comes together to honor a legend. Aare Sir Shina Akanni’s contributions to the genre are unparalleled, and his status as the most highly rated of all Fuji acts is undisputed. As he celebrates his birthday, we join in the chorus of well-wishes and gratitude for the music that has enriched our lives.
Happy Birthday, Aare Sir Shina Akanni, the undisputed king of Fuji music. May your melodies continue to resonate, and your legacy endure for generations to come.
celebrity radar - gossips
Call EFCC to order, Nigeria is not a lawless country – Yahaya Bello Media Office
Call EFCC to order, Nigeria is not a lawless country – Yahaya Bello Media Office
About 9:30 am today, the 17th day of April 2024, persons who described themselves as officers of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) arrived the Wuse Zone 4 Residence of His Excellency, Alhaji Yahaya Bello to effect his arrest.
This is despite a subsisting Order of injunction granted on 9th February 2024 by the High Court of Justice, Lokoja Division in Suit No. HCL/68M/2024 between Alhaji Yahaya Bello v. Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, restraining the Commission either by itself or its agents from harassing, arresting, detaining or prosecuting Alhaji Yahaya Bello, pending the hearing and determination of the substantive fundamental rights enforcement action.
The EFCC was duly served with that Order on 12th February 2024 and on 26th February 2024; the EFCC filed an Appeal (Appeal No.: CA/ABJ/CV/175/2024: Economic and Financial Crimes Commission v. Alhaji Yahaya Bello) against the said Order to the Court of Appeal Abuja division. The Appeal was accompanied by a Motion for Stay of Execution of the Order of the High Court which the Court of Appeal adjourned for hearing till the 22nd day of April 2024.
Furthermore, Judgment in the substantive case between Alhaji Yahaya Bello and the EFCC is to be delivered at 12 Noon today in Lokoja.
Contrary to all of the above, the EFCC has now laid siege to the home of H.E Yahaya Bello seeking to arrest him in contravention of the extant orders!
It is a surprise that an agency led by a lawyer could flagrantly disobey a subsisting court order by taking actions contrary to the reliefs granted.
We are aware of the total commitment of the current administration of President Bola Ahmed Tinubu to the rule of law and can say categorically that the leadership of the EFCC might have offered the agency on a platter of gold to desperate politicians to convert to their score settling tool without minding the effect on its integrity and the image of Nigeria as regards the rule of law.
A situation where law enforcers disregard the rule of law is a definite recipe for anarchy, which will adversely affect every aspect of the nation’s economy.
Nigerians have perceived the desperation of the anti-graft agency to embarrass and harass the former Governor by all means through spurious allegations, especially the latest one dating back to September 2015, way before he assumed office.
We are aware that there are clandestine moves to correct the error, but with even more questionable allegations, which would embarrass the Commission and Nigeria more than the initial one.
It is unfortunate that an agency that is supposed to enforce the law is now the first culprit with respect to disobedience of court orders.
This is a big dent on the fight against corruption. He who comes to equity must come with clean hands.
We call on President Bola Ahmed Tinubu to call the EFCC to order in the interest of legal sanity.
MEDIA OFFICE
HE YAHAYA BELLO
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- Chair of the Military Committee visits North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) Partner Algeria April 19, 2024
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