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7 Reasons Nigerian Marriages Are Crashing In The UK

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7 Reasons Nigerian Marriages Are Crashing In The UK

7 Reasons Nigerian Marriages Are Crashing In The UK

 

 

Nigerian Marriages always appear solid and formidable until the union gets a visa. The moment it passes through the UK Point of Entry, it starts to develop cracks until it takes more falls than the Naira under the current Tinubu administration. In this piece, I will be taking a dive into the common reasons why Nigerian marriages struggle on UK soil.

 

7 Reasons Nigerian Marriages Are Crashing In The UK

(1). Personal Vendetta:
Marriage as an institution in Nigeria is modeled around patriarchy – a system of male dominance. In this case, the man is the king while the woman is the queen. As you know, the king dominates the queen, and nothing he does is wrong in most cases (especially for the wealthy men). The woman could be forced to endure physical, verbal, psychological, financial abuse, and lots more. She stands to get mocked if her marriage crashes. This creates age-long bitterness and a cold war in the union. Women have a long memory and they hardly forgive. The moment the marriage transits to a society that gives women an upper hand against men, they come for their pound of flesh like Shylock. This destroys the foundation and subsequently brings it to an end.

(2). Level Playing field:
Marriage in Nigeria is a bit lopsided in terms of the professional profiles of the couples. In some cases, the husband might be a doctor while the wife might be selling beauty products or other petty items that cannot sustain her financially. The man steps in, and this gives him an undue edge in the marriage. In the UK where a hard-working bartender can match a nurse financially, and there is a level playing ground, power changes hands. The man who might be an alpha male loses that edge. This kind of equality – an unfamiliar territory for the man, if not well-managed might be the collapse of the marriage.

(3). Cultural Issues:
In the UK, the difference between a man and a woman might be that one menstruates and the other doesn’t. In fact, people switch genders according to their moods. In simple terms, there is no duty/responsibility that is totally exclusive to a man or woman. Over here, men go to the market, clean, wash, cook, babysit, run errands, and also fund the home. Local champions who are used to being served like emperors by their wives might struggle to cope with the new environment and could feel short-changed.

(4). Busy Schedules:
It is no longer news that the cost of living in the UK is as high as a COVID-19 patient’s temperature. In my previous articles, I have overemphasized how people inevitably work for long hours in order to cope with rising living expenses and financial demands from their families back home. This might affect bonding between young couples and reduce intimacy. Most times, when one party is ready for a “mid-section parley”, the other might be unavailable due to conflicting shift patterns, not being in the mood due to mental or physical stress. This gradually takes a negative toll on the marriage.

(5). Women Are Powerful Abroad:
In the West, there are checks to prevent the domination of women by men. This has made women so powerful. In the event of a conflict, the odds are always against the men. The Spanish FA chief, Luis Rubiales learned the hard way for controversially kissing midfielder, Jennifer Hermoso at the recently concluded 2023 Women’s World Cup. Also in February 2021, Yoshiro Mori – head of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games Organising Committee, was coerced into resigning after saying ‘women talk too much in meetings’. Former Manchester United player, Mason Greenwood apparently ruined his career due to struggles with his partner. In marriage, some women mischievously abuse their powers. A colleague lost his marriage of 5 years after his wife reportedly abused him physically multiple times. A behaviour that was never evident in Nigeria according to him.

(6). Cheating:
A randy man who is obsessed with beautiful women would easily make mistakes in the UK. The UK exposes you to numerous women of different shapes, forms, and beauty. If you think you have seen it all, you need to see the Jamaican, Somalian, Pakistani, Iranian, curvy Kenyans, and some pretty Indian women. It is not just how they look alone but what they are wearing. Some of them might fancy you and might be willing to hand you the cookie on a platter of gold. There are also several single mothers who have nothing to lose. They are ready to ‘share it’ graciously like the Federal Government palliatives across their community. One person’s husband might be hooked to the detriment of his marriage.

(7). Finances:
Another area of challenge in a UK home is money. In an informal survey I personally conducted, I realized it is the most common problem around. It is extremely difficult for a man to singlehandedly foot the household bills in the UK. Paying for everything is easily obtainable in Nigeria where the cost of living is lower. A woman who is used to the Nigerian system might be hoarding cash, and under-declaring her finances. This is done to force the man to fill the vacuum. This creates discontentment, and over time, frustration starts to hit the man. He might be tempted to seek solace outside the marriage to boost his mental health.

Osahon George Osayimwen is a Journalist and a Developmental Psychologist. He writes from the South Yorkshire region of England.

Politics

PBAT is Working, No growth without Pain ! By Sen. Rilwan Adesoji Akanbi

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PBAT is Working, No growth without Pain ! By Sen. Rilwan Adesoji Akanbi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sahara Weekly Reports That It must be emphasized that the PBAT met a cancerous like Treasury and multidimensional problems. A courageous, dedicated and purposely determined administration of PBAT tackles all the problems gradually and head-on

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PBAT is Working, No growth without Pain ! By Sen. Rilwan Adesoji Akanbi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The part payment of our foreign loans which shall raise our financial rating in the international capital market.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The much advertised release of food grains from the strategic national silo into our food chain shows that PBAT cares and is showing much concern.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Policy formulation of PBAT is working indeed considering the above-mentioned parameters. Although it may not be possible for a quick approach and turnaround,there will surely be light at the end of the dark tunnel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carrying the State Governors in a synergy improves and capable of reducing the widespread impoverishment. Some Governors must be mentioned for the good work : Kwara State Governor who doubles as Chairman Governors forum , Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu of Lagos State, Governor Seyi Makinde of Oyo State, Prof Zulum of Borno, Kano State Governor and few others are doing their best although more need to be done to put smile on the faces of the citizens and some other Governors need to step up their actions.Our Governors should role out more palliatives programs to cushion effect on the present hardship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The ongoing regulation of our financial institutions shows the ability of our current leadership.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is worthy to mention the head-on tackle by the present administration on the insurgency and kidnapping that is becoming rampant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At this juncture, we citizens must remember the fight back of political and economic saboteurs who wants instability and old order of feeding fat. We must not play into their hands, we must control our anger although, a hungry man is an angry man. We have no other country, we must watch our utterances and be guided. Support and Prayers for the administration success must be our priority. May the Lord Almighty continue to strengthen PBAT for the task ahead.

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Hunger Is Making You Go Blind’’ – Analyst Blasts APGA’s Chinedu Obigwe For Tackling Primate Ayodele

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Hunger Is Making You Go Blind’’ – Analyst Blasts APGA’s Chinedu Obigwe For Tackling Primate Ayodele

‘’Hunger Is Making You Go Blind’’ – Analyst Blasts APGA’s Chinedu Obigwe For Tackling Primate Ayodele

 

 

A political analyst, John Obuchi has blasted the National Coordinator, All Progressives Grand Alliance Media Warriors Forum, Mr Chinedu Obigwe for his recent media attacks against popular Nigerian prophet, Primate Elijah Ayodele over his prophecies regarding Anambra 2025 governorship election.

 

 

Hunger Is Making You Go Blind’’ – Analyst Blasts APGA’s Chinedu Obigwe For Tackling Primate Ayodele

Primate Ayodele had revealed that a chieftain of the All Progressive Congress, Senator Ifeanyi Ubah can unseat Governor Charles Soludo and prevent him from getting a second term in office if care isn’t taken. The prophet warned Soludo to be wary of mistakes that can make his government become unpopular.

In two different publications, Chinedu Obigwe in his reaction to Primate Ayodele’s prophecies rubbished the prophet and described him as a ‘Cash and Carry’ man of God. He went as far as mentioning that Primate Ayodele is acting as Ubah’s campaign manager because of his prophecies about the senator’s governorship ambition.

In a reaction, John Obuchi has described Obigwe as a hungry man who has become blind because of his current predicament of hardship. Obuchi described him as a political dog who is selling himself cheaply because of peanuts and irrelevant political appointments.

‘’It is not always difficult to identify a political dog when you see one but it is very unfortunate when you see intelligent persons sell themselves out unnecessarily because of peanuts or at most, docile political appointments.’’

‘’Chinedu Obigwe, one who claims to be a national coordinator but isn’t known beyond Anambra, has shown with his recent attacks against Primate Ayodele that the current economic hardship has eaten deep into his cognitive reasoning and the fight for his daily bread has affected his sight; he doesn’t see beyond stomach infrastructure. He has proven to be a perfect definition of what we call ‘ebe ọ bụla belle ihu’.’’

Obuchi recalled how Andy Uba’s media team tackled Primate Ayodele for saying their principal will not become governor of Anambra state four years ago, explaining that Soludo’s team is also following the same route that led to the failure of Andy Uba.

‘’I know for sure that his attacks are not alien to Primate Ayodele’s ministry; the man of God received more than these during the last Anambra governorship election from Andy Uba’s media team. They insulted Primate Ayodele for saying their principal’s ambition will be a waste instead of listening to instructions and at the end of the day, Primate Ayodele laughed last because they failed woefully.’’

‘’Just like Andy Uba’s media team, Chinedu Obigwe is setting Charles Soludo up for failure at the 2025 governorship election. Primate Ayodele has only shared a prophetic warning that still has remedy, 2025 is still almost one year from now and the needful can still be done but sponsoring materials in the media against Primate Ayodele is just adding more petrol to the fire, Obigwe ought to know that ‘A na-agwa ntị ma ntị anụghị, e gburu isi ntị esoro ya’; When Charles Soludo loses, he will automatically become jobless.’’

He warned Charles Soludo to do the needful just as Primate Ayodele has warned in order to avoid failure while asking the governor to be careful of Obigwe’s antics to lead him to failure.

‘’Imagine saying Primate Ayodele is a cash and carry prophet, it’s very funny because if only Obigwe knows the capacity this prophet has, he would resign his current position and beg to become Primate Ayodele’s cleaner so he can feed well. People just make some unfounded claims in order to please their paymasters and it is so unfortunate coming from someone who claims to be a media person.’’

‘’I don’t want to say much other than to advise Charles Soludo to do the needful if he still wants to retain his position, Primate Ayodele doesn’t talk if he hasn’t seen anything and going by the records, every of his prophecies come to pass. Obigwe will lead Soludo to the pit if care isn’t taken. There is still time to retrace your steps, I rest my case.’’

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Oniba Salutes Sanwo-olu, Assures of peace at Lagos parks

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Oniba Salutes Sanwo-olu, Assures of peace at Lagos parks

Oniba Salutes Sanwo-olu, Assures of peace at Lagos parks

 

The interim Chairman of Road Transport Employers’ Association (RTEAN), Oba(Dr) Sulaimon Raji Ashade has lauded the executive governor of Lagos State, Babajide Sanwoolu, describing him as a “unifier” for seeing to the smooth transition of the Lagos park management.

 

 

 

Oniba Salutes Sanwo-olu, Assures of peace at Lagos parks

Raji-Ashade, who was the Chairman, caretaker committee of the now defunct Lagos State Parks and Garages Administrators (LASPAGA) said the governor’s timely responses and commitment were instrumental throughout his over one year overseeing the affairs of LASPAGA.

In a statement to the media on Friday signed by Owoseni Olalere (SAMGRIN), the Director of Media & and Strategy to the interim Chairman,  he reassured the governor and all other stakeholders in the Lagos State transportation sector that the promotion of peace and tranquillity, which the parks had witnessed over the past 15 months shall continue.

Additionally, the Lagos monarch thanks Sanwoolu for his efforts towards making life easier for Lagosians, especially with the 25 per cent reduction in transport and feeding about 1,500 people daily.

“We hope to also consolidate the governor’s efforts from our own end too,” Oniba said.

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