society
7 Reasons Nigerian Marriages Are Crashing In The UK
7 Reasons Nigerian Marriages Are Crashing In The UK
Nigerian Marriages always appear solid and formidable until the union gets a visa. The moment it passes through the UK Point of Entry, it starts to develop cracks until it takes more falls than the Naira under the current Tinubu administration. In this piece, I will be taking a dive into the common reasons why Nigerian marriages struggle on UK soil.
(1). Personal Vendetta:
Marriage as an institution in Nigeria is modeled around patriarchy – a system of male dominance. In this case, the man is the king while the woman is the queen. As you know, the king dominates the queen, and nothing he does is wrong in most cases (especially for the wealthy men). The woman could be forced to endure physical, verbal, psychological, financial abuse, and lots more. She stands to get mocked if her marriage crashes. This creates age-long bitterness and a cold war in the union. Women have a long memory and they hardly forgive. The moment the marriage transits to a society that gives women an upper hand against men, they come for their pound of flesh like Shylock. This destroys the foundation and subsequently brings it to an end.
(2). Level Playing field:
Marriage in Nigeria is a bit lopsided in terms of the professional profiles of the couples. In some cases, the husband might be a doctor while the wife might be selling beauty products or other petty items that cannot sustain her financially. The man steps in, and this gives him an undue edge in the marriage. In the UK where a hard-working bartender can match a nurse financially, and there is a level playing ground, power changes hands. The man who might be an alpha male loses that edge. This kind of equality – an unfamiliar territory for the man, if not well-managed might be the collapse of the marriage.
(3). Cultural Issues:
In the UK, the difference between a man and a woman might be that one menstruates and the other doesn’t. In fact, people switch genders according to their moods. In simple terms, there is no duty/responsibility that is totally exclusive to a man or woman. Over here, men go to the market, clean, wash, cook, babysit, run errands, and also fund the home. Local champions who are used to being served like emperors by their wives might struggle to cope with the new environment and could feel short-changed.
(4). Busy Schedules:
It is no longer news that the cost of living in the UK is as high as a COVID-19 patient’s temperature. In my previous articles, I have overemphasized how people inevitably work for long hours in order to cope with rising living expenses and financial demands from their families back home. This might affect bonding between young couples and reduce intimacy. Most times, when one party is ready for a “mid-section parley”, the other might be unavailable due to conflicting shift patterns, not being in the mood due to mental or physical stress. This gradually takes a negative toll on the marriage.
(5). Women Are Powerful Abroad:
In the West, there are checks to prevent the domination of women by men. This has made women so powerful. In the event of a conflict, the odds are always against the men. The Spanish FA chief, Luis Rubiales learned the hard way for controversially kissing midfielder, Jennifer Hermoso at the recently concluded 2023 Women’s World Cup. Also in February 2021, Yoshiro Mori – head of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games Organising Committee, was coerced into resigning after saying ‘women talk too much in meetings’. Former Manchester United player, Mason Greenwood apparently ruined his career due to struggles with his partner. In marriage, some women mischievously abuse their powers. A colleague lost his marriage of 5 years after his wife reportedly abused him physically multiple times. A behaviour that was never evident in Nigeria according to him.
(6). Cheating:
A randy man who is obsessed with beautiful women would easily make mistakes in the UK. The UK exposes you to numerous women of different shapes, forms, and beauty. If you think you have seen it all, you need to see the Jamaican, Somalian, Pakistani, Iranian, curvy Kenyans, and some pretty Indian women. It is not just how they look alone but what they are wearing. Some of them might fancy you and might be willing to hand you the cookie on a platter of gold. There are also several single mothers who have nothing to lose. They are ready to ‘share it’ graciously like the Federal Government palliatives across their community. One person’s husband might be hooked to the detriment of his marriage.
(7). Finances:
Another area of challenge in a UK home is money. In an informal survey I personally conducted, I realized it is the most common problem around. It is extremely difficult for a man to singlehandedly foot the household bills in the UK. Paying for everything is easily obtainable in Nigeria where the cost of living is lower. A woman who is used to the Nigerian system might be hoarding cash, and under-declaring her finances. This is done to force the man to fill the vacuum. This creates discontentment, and over time, frustration starts to hit the man. He might be tempted to seek solace outside the marriage to boost his mental health.
Osahon George Osayimwen is a Journalist and a Developmental Psychologist. He writes from the South Yorkshire region of England.
Otunba Olufemi Okenla turns 60
Otunba Olufemi Okenla, chairman of HDV Group and owner of Ibis Ikeja Hotel, turned 60 today .
To celebrate this milestone, the lawyer-turned-entrepreneur has planned various programs for his diamond jubilee.
As part of the festivities, he will officially open a multi-million naira Entrepreneur Centre at Olabisi Onabanjo University his alma mater in Ago Iwoye on Wednesday, showcasing his commitment to community development and supporting his roots.
Grace Nation: The Implications of Unrighteousness is Suffering – Dr Chris Okafor.
…. God is too Loaded to Lie – Okafor
Understanding God’s Purpose for Financial Dominion is also understanding God as the Processor of Life, He is the alpha and Omega of wealth, when you understand his Principles and follow his command you will experience financial Dominion because silver and Gold belongs to the Lord.
Teaching on the series, “Understanding financial blessings through Financial Dominion Part 2” Senior Pastor Grace Nation Global and the Generational Prophet of God Dr Chris Okafor Continue on examines What is God purpose for financial Dominion for his People, The Generational Prophet Of God highlighted, that To demonstrate his love and care, meeting the needs of his People.
The Man of God continues that God wants to meet the needs of his People and by showing them love supplying their needs. God wants to Empower his people to be a blessing to the world, which means, until you become a Blessing to the kingdom and his people before you can be called a blessing.
Dr Chris Okafor continue on God purpose for financial Dominion said it is for the spread of his kingdom on earth, it is also to empower people to serve as authority on the earth, while declaring that Financial Dominion is not for show but for kingdom advancement.
In conclusion the Generational Prophet of God Dr Chris Okafor remarked that when we follow God’s Principles,we are privileged to access all his Provisions.
The Divine intervention and Breakthrough Sunday Service on 6 April 2025 held at the international Headquarters of Grace Nation international aka Liberation City in Ojodu Berger Lagos Nigeria witness, the words, deliverance, diverse kind of Healing ,Miracles, Restoration and Solution to all kinds of problems.
Earlier it was a special Birthday Parade by the Nigeria Army Band to Celebrate another years of Grace, Annoiting and God mercy over the Generational Prophet of God Dr Chris Okafor as he marks another glorious Birthday, it was indeed awesome, A special birthday rendetion song was made to celebrate God chosen, Accurate Seer of our time, The Man that sees it all Dr Chris Okafor to the Glory of God.
From Democracy to Dictatorship: Nigeria’s Descent into Autocracy Since 2015
By George Omagbemi Sylvester
Since the All Progressives Congress (APC) took over Nigeria’s leadership in 2015, the country has not only witnessed a decline in democratic values but has steadily descended into a dangerous state of autocracy. What began as a hopeful transition of power soon turned into a nightmare marked by economic collapse, repression of civil liberties, electoral manipulation, and widespread insecurity. This is not a democracy. This is a hijacked republic.
A Promise Betrayed
When President Muhammadu Buhari and the APC were elected in 2015, they rode a wave of public discontent with the People’s Democratic Party (PDP). Nigerians yearned for transparency, security, and economic reform. But what they got instead was a regime that centralized power, weakened democratic institutions, and silenced dissent with an iron grip.
Buhari’s government—backed by APC party loyalists—pursued an agenda that systematically undermined democracy. Between 2015 and 2023, the government was notorious for disobeying court orders, arresting journalists, intimidating judges, and deploying security agencies to suppress peaceful protests. From the illegal detention of activists like Omoyele Sowore to the bloody repression of the #EndSARS protests, the Buhari era mirrored a military dictatorship cloaked in civilian garb.
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The Death of Accountability
Under APC rule, checks and balances became a joke. Institutions that should serve as watchdogs—like the National Assembly and the judiciary—were reduced to rubber stamps. The rule of law was trampled underfoot with alarming regularity. Court rulings, including those from the ECOWAS Court of Justice, were routinely ignored by the presidency and security agencies.
Corruption, the very evil Buhari promised to fight, flourished under his watch. Nigeria dropped significantly on Transparency International’s Corruption Perception Index, ranking 154 out of 180 countries in 2021. Multi-billion-naira scandals involving public funds—like the NNPC missing billions, the arms procurement fraud, and the Pandora Papers revelations—were either brushed aside or buried under a mountain of government propaganda.
Electoral Fraud Disguised as Elections
Perhaps the most disturbing assault on democracy under APC has been the bastardization of the electoral process. The 2019 and 2023 general elections were marred by voter suppression, ballot box snatching, intimidation of voters, and open partisanship by security agencies. The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), once respected, lost its credibility as electoral umpire.
The 2023 presidential election is a glaring example. Despite promises of electronic transmission of results and transparency, INEC inexplicably abandoned its BVAS and IREV technologies midway through result collation. International observers including the European Union and the National Democratic Institute condemned the elections as lacking transparency, credibility, and fairness.
What kind of democracy exists when the votes of the people are disregarded, and leaders are imposed against the will of the majority?
Suppression of the Press and Civil Society
Freedom of speech and the press, hallmarks of any functioning democracy, have suffered grave attacks since 2015. Journalists were harassed, media houses fined or shut down, and online platforms were targeted. In 2021, the Nigerian government banned Twitter for over seven months simply because citizens used it to criticize the president. This action not only violated the constitution but exposed the government’s deep authoritarian impulse.
Civil society groups and human rights organizations became targets of smear campaigns and regulatory clampdowns. The Buhari regime and its successors sought to monitor, regulate, and restrict non-governmental organizations through draconian laws and policies.
An Economy in Ruins
A thriving economy supports a stable democracy. But under APC rule, Nigeria’s economy collapsed. The country slipped into two recessions in five years, inflation soared, and the naira depreciated to record lows. Insecurity, mismanagement, and policy inconsistencies drove away investors. Unemployment skyrocketed to over 33%, and poverty rose so dramatically that Nigeria became the world’s “poverty capital,” surpassing India.
Fuel subsidy mismanagement, crude oil theft, forex fraud, and mounting debt (now over $110 billion) are all legacies of APC’s gross misgovernance. How can democracy thrive in the face of economic asphyxiation?
Insecurity as a Political Tool
Under APC governance, Nigeria became a killing field. Boko Haram insurgents, Fulani herdsmen, bandits, and unknown gunmen unleashed terror across the nation. From Kaduna to Zamfara, from Plateau to Borno, the blood of innocent Nigerians flowed freely. Rather than confront the crisis with transparency and competence, the government played politics with the lives of its citizens.
Security agencies were often accused of ethnic bias, selective intervention, and extrajudicial killings. Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch documented numerous human rights violations by state actors. Thousands died, while millions were displaced—turning Nigeria into a humanitarian disaster zone.
A Stolen Republic
Make no mistake: Nigeria today is not a democracy. It is an autocratic state run by a cartel of politicians who wield power without accountability, enforce obedience through fear, and manipulate institutions to serve personal interests. Elections are rigged rituals. Courts are co-opted. The National Assembly is compromised. And the voices of the people are ignored.
This is not what democracy looks like. This is a betrayal of the Nigerian people.
It is time for Nigerians—home and abroad—to wake up to the brutal truth: our republic has been stolen. Our votes no longer count. Our leaders no longer listen. Our institutions no longer protect us.
The first step to reclaiming our democracy is to recognize its absence. The second is to mobilize civic resistance, strengthen independent media, support judicial independence, and rebuild credible opposition. The Nigerian people must demand electoral reform, transparency, and accountability with louder voices and bolder actions.
If we do nothing, the autocrats will tighten their grip further, and democracy will become a relic of the past. But if we rise, if we organize, and if we persist, we can reclaim the soul of our nation from those who have hijacked it.
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