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7 Reasons Nigerian Marriages Are Crashing In The UK

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7 Reasons Nigerian Marriages Are Crashing In The UK

7 Reasons Nigerian Marriages Are Crashing In The UK

 

 

Nigerian Marriages always appear solid and formidable until the union gets a visa. The moment it passes through the UK Point of Entry, it starts to develop cracks until it takes more falls than the Naira under the current Tinubu administration. In this piece, I will be taking a dive into the common reasons why Nigerian marriages struggle on UK soil.

 

7 Reasons Nigerian Marriages Are Crashing In The UK

(1). Personal Vendetta:
Marriage as an institution in Nigeria is modeled around patriarchy – a system of male dominance. In this case, the man is the king while the woman is the queen. As you know, the king dominates the queen, and nothing he does is wrong in most cases (especially for the wealthy men). The woman could be forced to endure physical, verbal, psychological, financial abuse, and lots more. She stands to get mocked if her marriage crashes. This creates age-long bitterness and a cold war in the union. Women have a long memory and they hardly forgive. The moment the marriage transits to a society that gives women an upper hand against men, they come for their pound of flesh like Shylock. This destroys the foundation and subsequently brings it to an end.

(2). Level Playing field:
Marriage in Nigeria is a bit lopsided in terms of the professional profiles of the couples. In some cases, the husband might be a doctor while the wife might be selling beauty products or other petty items that cannot sustain her financially. The man steps in, and this gives him an undue edge in the marriage. In the UK where a hard-working bartender can match a nurse financially, and there is a level playing ground, power changes hands. The man who might be an alpha male loses that edge. This kind of equality – an unfamiliar territory for the man, if not well-managed might be the collapse of the marriage.

(3). Cultural Issues:
In the UK, the difference between a man and a woman might be that one menstruates and the other doesn’t. In fact, people switch genders according to their moods. In simple terms, there is no duty/responsibility that is totally exclusive to a man or woman. Over here, men go to the market, clean, wash, cook, babysit, run errands, and also fund the home. Local champions who are used to being served like emperors by their wives might struggle to cope with the new environment and could feel short-changed.

(4). Busy Schedules:
It is no longer news that the cost of living in the UK is as high as a COVID-19 patient’s temperature. In my previous articles, I have overemphasized how people inevitably work for long hours in order to cope with rising living expenses and financial demands from their families back home. This might affect bonding between young couples and reduce intimacy. Most times, when one party is ready for a “mid-section parley”, the other might be unavailable due to conflicting shift patterns, not being in the mood due to mental or physical stress. This gradually takes a negative toll on the marriage.

(5). Women Are Powerful Abroad:
In the West, there are checks to prevent the domination of women by men. This has made women so powerful. In the event of a conflict, the odds are always against the men. The Spanish FA chief, Luis Rubiales learned the hard way for controversially kissing midfielder, Jennifer Hermoso at the recently concluded 2023 Women’s World Cup. Also in February 2021, Yoshiro Mori – head of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games Organising Committee, was coerced into resigning after saying ‘women talk too much in meetings’. Former Manchester United player, Mason Greenwood apparently ruined his career due to struggles with his partner. In marriage, some women mischievously abuse their powers. A colleague lost his marriage of 5 years after his wife reportedly abused him physically multiple times. A behaviour that was never evident in Nigeria according to him.

(6). Cheating:
A randy man who is obsessed with beautiful women would easily make mistakes in the UK. The UK exposes you to numerous women of different shapes, forms, and beauty. If you think you have seen it all, you need to see the Jamaican, Somalian, Pakistani, Iranian, curvy Kenyans, and some pretty Indian women. It is not just how they look alone but what they are wearing. Some of them might fancy you and might be willing to hand you the cookie on a platter of gold. There are also several single mothers who have nothing to lose. They are ready to ‘share it’ graciously like the Federal Government palliatives across their community. One person’s husband might be hooked to the detriment of his marriage.

(7). Finances:
Another area of challenge in a UK home is money. In an informal survey I personally conducted, I realized it is the most common problem around. It is extremely difficult for a man to singlehandedly foot the household bills in the UK. Paying for everything is easily obtainable in Nigeria where the cost of living is lower. A woman who is used to the Nigerian system might be hoarding cash, and under-declaring her finances. This is done to force the man to fill the vacuum. This creates discontentment, and over time, frustration starts to hit the man. He might be tempted to seek solace outside the marriage to boost his mental health.

Osahon George Osayimwen is a Journalist and a Developmental Psychologist. He writes from the South Yorkshire region of England.

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Speaker Showdown : Lagos At The Crossroads – Alhaji Arems

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Speaker Showdown : Lagos At The Crossroads - Alhaji Arems

Speaker Showdown : Lagos At The Crossroads – Alhaji Arems

The political scene in Lagos has been nothing short of a rollercoaster lately. The recent days have witnessed a dramatic tug-of-war between Mudashiru Obasa and his deputy, Mojisola Meranda, leaving citizens and political pundits alike with more questions than answers. As a long-time observer of our vibrant state’s affairs, I feel compelled to unravel the threads of this saga for you.

Speaker Showdown : Lagos At The Crossroads - Alhaji Arems
It all began on January 13, 2025, when the Lagos State House of Assembly voted to impeach Speaker Obasa amid swirling allegations of gross misconduct and financial irregularities. His abrupt removal from the speaker’s chair sent shockwaves through the corridors of power, igniting a firestorm of debates among lawmakers and the public alike. In a swift turn of events, Meranda was installed as the new Speaker, a move that many hailed as a step toward restoring order and accountability.

Yet, as with all matters of state in our dynamic political landscape, the story is far from black and white. Obasa, undeterred by the impeachment, has mounted a vigorous counter-narrative. He insists that his dismissal was nothing more than a politically motivated maneuver designed to tip the scales ahead of the 2027 elections. His supporters argue that the impeachment process was fraught with irregularities—a claim that has since found its way into court filings and heated debates in our public squares.

Adding further complexity are the ongoing legal challenges. Courts are now weighing in on the propriety of the impeachment, with petitions from both camps stirring uncertainty about whether the decision to replace Obasa was executed in strict accordance with our constitutional mandate. Each legal development seems to throw a new twist into an already convoluted dispute, leaving the House of Assembly and the people of Lagos in a state of suspended governance.

As the drama unfolds in legislative chambers and courtrooms, every statement and counterstatement seems only to deepen the mystery. The political arena in Lagos remains as divided as ever, with every faction laying claim to the title of true Speaker.

WHO IS THE REAL SPEAKER OF LAGOS STATE?

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TY Buratai Foundation Provides Free Medical Outreach, Benefiting Over 1,800 in Kano

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TY Buratai Foundation Provides Free Medical Outreach, Benefiting Over 1,800 in Kano

The TY Buratai Humanity Care Foundation, in collaboration with the Tukur & Tukur Foundation, has successfully conducted a free medical outreach in Kano State, providing essential healthcare services to over 1,800 people.

TY Buratai Foundation Provides Free Medical Outreach, Benefiting Over 1,800 in Kano

The initiative was organized at the invitation of the Kano State Hisbah Board, aiming to support those who serve the community selflessly.

In a statement, the Chairman of the Foundations, Ibrahim Dahiru Danfulani, along with Col. Haruna Idris Zaria (Rtd), emphasized the importance of the outreach in delivering critical medical care to those in need.

The event was marked by a ceremonial presentation attended by members of the Kano Hisbah Board. Sheikh Aminu Ibrahim Daurawa, Commander-General of the Hisbah Board, expressed profound gratitude to the foundations for their dedication to improving the health and well-being of Hisbah personnel, their families, and the general public.

Sheikh Daurawa highlighted the pressing need for medical intervention, noting that many Hisbah officers are elderly, with some in their 90s, and suffer from serious health conditions.

“This medical outreach is critical. Many of our officers struggle with severe visual impairments, hearing loss, and other chronic ailments. Addressing these health challenges will enhance their productivity and overall well-being,” he said.

He also extended appreciation to Kano State Governor Abba Kabir Yusuf for supporting the initiative and commended the foundations for prioritizing the health of Hisbah personnel.

“We sincerely thank you for dedicating your time and resources to provide this vital health support. We pray for divine blessings upon the founders and benefactors of these noble foundations,” Sheikh Daurawa added.

He further acknowledged the visionary leadership of the Grand Patron of the Tukur & Tukur Foundation, Lieutenant General Tukur Yusuf Buratai (Rtd), for spearheading health-focused initiatives that positively impact underserved communities.

Sheikh Daurawa concluded by offering prayers for all stakeholders and healthcare professionals involved in the outreach, emphasizing that supporting health, education, food security, and vocational empowerment is essential for societal growth.

“By uplifting humanity, we uplift the entire society,” he said.

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NADECO Chieftain Blasts Babangida: ‘Shameless, Unremorseful Over June 12 Annulment’

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NADECO Chieftain Blasts Babangida: ‘Shameless, Unremorseful Over June 12 Annulment’

NADECO Chieftain Blasts Babangida: ‘Shameless, Unremorseful Over June 12 Annulment’

A chieftain of the National Democratic Coalition (NADECO), Ayo Opadokun, has launched a scathing attack on former Head of State, General Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida (IBB), over his recent admission of wrongfully annulling the June 12, 1993, presidential election. Opadokun labeled Babangida’s so-called confession as pretentious, dubious, and devoid of any genuine remorse.

Babangida, in his newly released 420-page autobiography, Journey in Service, acknowledged the annulment of the historic election, which was widely believed to have been won by Chief MKO Abiola. However, Opadokun dismissed the admission as a desperate attempt at revisionism, accusing the former military ruler of seeking to manipulate history rather than confront his role in one of Nigeria’s darkest political betrayals.

‘Babangida is Dancing on the Graves of Innocent Nigerians’

Speaking on Wednesday, Opadokun did not mince words, condemning Babangida for what he described as shameless posturing and a calculated effort to rewrite history.

“The so-called admission is not only pretentious, but it is also deeply dubious and entirely lacking in remorse. In his 420-page book, General IBB engages primarily in revisionism, obscurism, and escapism. He has not disclosed anything new,” Opadokun declared.

Beyond the annulment itself, the NADECO leader lashed out at Babangida for showing no remorse for the bloodshed and national chaos that followed his decision. He accused the former dictator of “dancing on the graves of innocent martyrs” who died fighting for democracy.

“He is shamelessly dancing on the graves of innocent Nigerians who were killed simply so he, a military dictator, could cling to power and continue looting public funds for himself, his family, and his allies,” Opadokun fumed.

‘June 12 Bloodshed is on Babangida’s Hands’

Recalling the violent aftermath of the election annulment, Opadokun painted a grim picture of military repression, extrajudicial killings, and state-sponsored violence against pro-democracy activists. He pointed to the assassination of Kudirat Abiola, the widow of the acclaimed election winner, as a chilling example of the brutality that followed Babangida’s decision.

“In Ikorodu, when we attempted to bury three young victims, security forces overpowered us. They ordered us to tell the families to retrieve their loved ones’ remains without any ceremony. They even slapped mourners to silence them,” he recounted, emphasizing the merciless crackdown on dissenters.

Opadokun argued that Babangida should be held accountable for treason, given the far-reaching consequences of his actions. He recalled watching an interview with Professor Humphrey Nwosu, Chairman of the National Electoral Commission (NEC), where Nwosu confirmed that collation had been completed and that Abiola had indisputably won the election—even defeating his opponent, Bashir Tofa, in his home state of Kano.

“There is nothing new in what Babangida has said. It was already public knowledge that Abiola won, as polling unit results were displayed up to the state collation centers. Even his former political adviser, Professor Omo Omoruyi, affirmed this in his own book,” Opadokun added.

‘Babangida’s Betrayal Will Never Be Forgiven’

Opadokun went further to blame Nigeria’s stagnation on prolonged military rule, stating that the military’s intervention in politics—beginning with the January 15, 1966 coup—marked the country’s decline.

“The military’s reckless interference has stunted Nigeria’s growth. Their forceful takeover in 1966 arrested our national development and reduced us to nothing,” he lamented.

Rejecting any notion that Babangida’s admission could lead to reconciliation, Opadokun insisted that the former dictator remains morally culpable for the lives lost in the aftermath of June 12.

“Too many lives were lost because of him. Too much blood is on his hands, yet he still pretends to be a statesman,” he said.

Concluding, Opadokun declared that Babangida’s legacy will forever be tainted by the annulment of Nigeria’s freest and fairest election, and that his latest remarks were nothing more than a failed attempt to sanitize his image.

“History will not absolve Babangida. He stole democracy from Nigerians and plunged the nation into darkness. No amount of revisionism can change that,” Opadokun asserted.

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