Crime
Touching story: Cruelty of my husband’s family tradition is forcing me out of Nigeria – Woman cries out
Published
7 years agoon
African tradition cannot be separated from the development of the society, while some tradition are simple some are hard and often considered as cruel and barbaric because of the process they entails thereby making those whose faith cannot comply with the process be subjected to harassment and intimidation by the custodians such tradition
In most cases certain rites are must be performed by new wife or new born baby for spiritual cleansing or connection with the spirits of the “gods” and “ancestral spirit”, To some family it is a task that must be done for every additional to their homes but those who cannot comply with the terms are put under the fear of ,misfortune, untimely death , or failure to make it in life
Mr James Johnson and wife Motunrayo are happily married with two kids, for about fifteen years the wife have been evading traditional rites which the family consider a must for every new wife and their kids , at marriage she ran back into her parents home second day after the wedding and similar thing happened when she gave birth to her first daughter 13 years ago
Today Motunrayo and her family are living under the fear of losing her daughter and experience other misfortune predicted by her husband family due to her non compliance with what she termed as cruel nature of her husband’s family traditional rite, her fear grows bigger on daily basis as her daughter who is predicted to experience something strange at fifteen is getting closer to the age
Narrating her experience the Ilora born lady said she and her children are applying for asylum in the United State of America because she believe that will put an end to the physical and emotional suffering she has been encountering over the years
According to her “Few hours after our arrival at my husband village a day after our wedding I was taking into hut(a house built with mud)and I was told to prostrate and greet the people in the hut, which I did. They said is part of their culture, then I was handed a white material and a clay pot that had a white chalk in a paste form and I was asked to pull off everything I had on and tie the white material and apply the white chalk all over my body and I was told that as part of their tradition that I need to be examined by an old woman that they pointed out to me. Initially I didn’t understand what they were saying until I was asked to take off the white cloth that they need to inspect my private part. They mentioned to me that I would need get circumcised the following morning after a cleansing ritual by the river side (my opinion wasn’t asked if I want to be circumcised). They claim that all of them have been duly circumcised as required by tradition. I was amazed and shocked and tears were flowing down my eyes and I told my husband he needs to get me out his village because I will not allow anybody touch me. My husband promised me nothing would happen. I was so terrified I escaped from the house and left the village back to my parent house without notice to anyone”.
“I told my family members I wasn’t going to continue being married to my husband anymore because he was from a family who still practice barbaric and cruel tradition. The next day my husband and his family came to visit my family and begged them to ask my forgiveness. We were told that I will never be asked to participate in any of their traditional practices again. I forgave them and agreed to continue in the marriage. I moved in and settled in Abuja, federal capital territory”.
“According to the tradition and believe of his people (my husband), a woman who is not circumcised causes ill luck, misfortune and possibly death to the man, his family and could wipe off the entire linage of the family, she is seen as unclean and called Abiku which means an outcast. Out of fear and stigmatization, most women married into the family are pressured and subdued into such barbaric act of been circumcised and even their daughters. The process was usually performed by elderly ladies of the family. However, the circumcision is done by people who have no medical certificate or even qualified to carry out any medical procedure which is dangerous and endangers the victim’s life and the preys could get infected, bleed to death or some sort of terrible thing could happen. And they believe that any child born by an uncircumcised woman is unclean and seen as an outcast and should not be associated with because they believe the person will affect them with ill luck and could contaminate them and bad things will begin to happen and could cause death too.”
“On 09/08/2004 I had my daughter and according to the traditions of mine husbands village, once a child is born there will be a naming ceremony on the 8thday which we did and every family member was invited and after the naming they are supposed to choose a day that falls on particular market day for circumcision which I objected to and I was told that if she is not circumcised that it will be assumed that such a person does not exist in the family and cannot associate with any member of the family or come home to the village. I was told the subject was not open for negotiation that she must undergo the cleansing and circumcision process as is required by all members of their family. A week later my husband was summoned by his family members and they were mounting pressure on him and threatening him on how they will go about it with or without his permission or he should be rest assured that calamity will be fall my daughter once she turns 15 years of age. I was so terrified knowing how much endanger my life and that of my daughter was, I begged my husband to save us from such cruel and unbearable torture. He promised me that if we are in Abuja that nobody will be able to subdue us into such horrific act.”
After some months, I felt everything were settled and calm, that I could go on living my normal life, no pressure or fear of been subjected to such barbaric act, then I got the shock and surprise of my life. I was leaving a function that I attended with my daughter driving back home, I noticed that a car was following me and I try to speed away, the more I speed the more the car was coming so fast behind us. I had to drive into a police station not sure of who was trailing us and what was going on. When I drove into the police station and I quickly unstrap my daughter and ran inside the building and I told them I was been trailed, statements were taking and filed as a formal complaint and they went outside and couldn’t find anyone or car. Investigations were made and nothing was found out, few months after that I got a call with an unknown number reminding me the incident and still told me that they are watching me and that since I have refused to be circumcised and that I want to wipe off their lineage and bring ill luck that they will wipe me off. That was the exact words i was told. When I told my husband, he was as shocked as I was and he made arrangement for us to travel to Lagos which is the western part of the country for a while, while he tries to figure out who was threatening our lives.
On 4th of December 2010 we welcomed our handsome son into this world. During my pregnancy, I suffered a lot emotional and verbal abuse from my husband family telling me am bringing in unclean children with ill luck into their Family and I was wrongly accused that all the misfortune happening in the family was because I refused to be circumcised and that my children are unclean and have brought ill luck into their family. As tradition demands on the 8th day should be my son naming ceremony, this time around my husband invited only the family members he felt he trusted and people who were close friends of ours. That was the greatest mistake we ever did. During the celebration fully armed five group of men came in to the house Towards the end of the function, these five group of men dressed in black and full armed busted in and took us away to an unknown destination , These happened within seconds and we were caught unaware, my husband friends got into their own car and started chasing after the car they used to drove us away , we are so terrified and I taught that was the last day I will ever see my daughter and new born baby. I was shocked, terrified and so scared that all I could was just held into my husband hands but in his usual manner he started pleading the “blood of Jesus” and asking God to rescue us from the people that we don’t know, at that point , one of the guys asked my husband to shut up and said “today your wife must get circumcised” and accused our Nuclear Family of been responsible for the death of family members in the last few years , When they realized that a car was chasing them, they opened the door and pushed us out and in his words, he said “this is not over, you either agree to what you have been told or we will forcefully do it”. We are seriously injured and we are hospitalized and discharged after few days
After the incident I can’t sleep with two of my eyes closed , I kept looking around unconsciously to see if anyone is watching or monitoring me. I have lost my peace.
My husband went to the village to make inquiries who is behind everything and found out that it was agreed and arranged by all his family members because they believe that any death that has happened was caused by me and my children and they told him that its either he brings his wife and daughter for circumcision and after that he must do cleansing of the land or that he has them to contain with. That was the moment my husband made up his mind that he will not allow any harm come to his wife and kids and he started saving and making plans on where is the safest place us.
I have suffered physical, emotional and verbal abuse from my husband family members. I have been called names, treated like a plague. My children and I are not save anywhere in my country. I get constant harassment from these people, my children are not allowed to come home to their father’s village or associate with any member of their family. It’s been fifteen years of torture, no peace of mind, no rest, fifteen years of constant abuse and harassment. My kids are growing and I don’t want them to go through what I have gone through and I want them to have a better life, feel accepted by the society and not been called names or constantly been accused of ill luck misfortune or death in the family.
Please help me give my kids and I the sense of security, love and acceptance they need. My daughter is thirteen years right now, I don’t want to wait for her to turn fifteen years and witness whatever they have planned. It rings like a bell in my ear and every day I wake up and look at her and realize she is almost 15, I get really scared. When I reminded my husband of what his family people told him, he quickly made arrangement for us to come over to the US, knowing fully well that we are safe and will never ever have to look over our shoulder or been stigmatized anymore.
I don’t want to lose my daughter, I don’t want to be called names anymore, I don’t want my kids growing up and going through what I have been subjected to for fifteen years of been married into that family or getting to the age of getting married and they will tell them that they are unclean and have ill luck because their mum refuse to give into such a barbaric act of circumcision that I wasn’t sure of surviving after allowing someone who has no medical background to carry out a procedure on me because it is called a family tradition.
Its not only Motunrayo and her family that are going through the emotional and physical suffering occasioned by the tradition and culture, so many people are dying in silence and there is need for support inform of legislation or any form of support that will stop women from the agony of partaking in cruel tradition occasioned by marriage.
Related
Sahara weekly online is published by First Sahara weekly international. contact [email protected]
You may like
Crime
“ Life Has Been Hard For Us” – Widow Of Murdered LCDA Staff, Idowu Keshinro Cries Out
Published
2 months agoon
October 31, 2024
The widow of Idowu Keshinro, the murdered Ota Ikosi Ejinrin LCDA staff has cried out for justice following the gruesome killing of her husband whom she had three children with.
The widow, Funke Keshinro stated that since her husband was killed, life has not been the same for her and the children because the deceased was the breadwinner of the family.
She revealed that she had to change the schools of the children because it’s been difficult to afford the private schools their father had enrolled them in before he died.
‘’Since my husband died, life has not been easy at all because when he was alive, he never joked with his children but now, it’s just me alone and it’s not easy. Since he died, I had to change the schools of the children to government-owned schools from private schools because I can’t continue all he used to do.’’
While speaking on what she wants from the government, Funke asserted that she wants justice for deceased husband. She mentioned that she doesn’t want the person that killed her husband to live because there are rumours that the arrested suspect would be released at the next court sitting slated for November 26.
Some of the suspects involved in this murder include Mukaila Salau, Tiamiyu Ahmed, Waliu Suleimon, Ibrahim Ekemode, Akande Ahmed Omogbemi, Abubakar Suleiman Mayaki, and others who are currently at large.
Funke tearfully noted that the children can’t recognize their father because they are still small, explaining how it’s been difficult raising them alone because their father’s life was cut short.
“I want the government to please fast-track justice; the person that killed him should also die. I want justice and nothing more. We have heard that they have arrested some people but we are waiting for judgement. I want a judgment that would be good for the three children and me. These children cannot even recognize their father because they are still young and I have also heard they want to release some of those who were arrested. Please, the government should help me, everyone that knows about my husband’s death should be judged accordingly.”
Meanwhile, in a petition dated October 18th 2024 written to the attorney general of Lagos state, it was noted that the suspects that have been arrested are currently boasting that they will be released at the next court sitting. They had been arraigned at Ogba Magistrate court on two occasions for their involvement in the murder of Idowun Keshinro.
The family of the deceased however, in the petition, called on the Lagos state government and Ministry of justice to ensure justice isn’t perverted for the sake of the deceased family and the peace of the community.
‘’It is our further brief that; other persons who are still at large with their syndicate are now intensifying efforts to ensure that they and the aforementioned persons escape justice by way of perversion of the cause of justice in respect of the subject matter.’’
‘’Furthermore, we have the brief of our client that the said persons and one KABIRU ABUBAKAR SULAIMON who is a brother to one of the defendants in the said charge continue to boast that the defendants would be released unconditionally as they claim to have connection to few politicians who would lead them to the office of the Attorney General and or have enough money to access same so as to ensure the Attorney General exercises his prerogative powers under the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria to release the Defendants in the above charge unconditionally’’
‘’We believe that the office of the Attorney General is dignifiedly sacred and clothed with Honour and same deserves utmost respect or regard from all and sundry as the case maybe. The noise cum brag of the aforementioned persons to pervert cause of justice at all cost in the above mentioned charge has now become deafening in the circumstance of our client thereof Our client and members of his family are hapless and continue to live in perpetual despair and would suffer untoward agony in the event the above mentioned persons make do of their boast and intention to escape justice in respect of the said charge’’, the petition reads in part.
Related
Crime
Family Appeals To Governor Sanwo-Olu For Justice Over Murder of LCDA Staff, Idowu Keshinro
Published
2 months agoon
October 23, 2024
The family of late Idowu Keshinro, a former staff member of the Agbowa Council Development Area (LCDA) in Ota Ikosi Ejinrin, has made an urgent appeal to Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu following fears that justice may not be served.
Although, suspects including popular land grabber, Abubakar Suleiman Miyaki, Mukaila Salau, Tiyamiyu Ahmed, Waltu Suleimon, Ibrahim Ekemode, and others have been arrested and arraigned before Ogba Magistrate court, the family of the deceased have claimed that there are ‘secret’ moves to free them unconditionally even though there is evidence that confirms the direct involvement of the suspects in the murder of Idowu Keshinro.
In a petition written to Governor Babajide Sanwoolu, the deceased’s elder brother, Akeem Keshinro explained that other suspects that are at large have been making boast of having connections with the attorney general of Lagos whom they claim will assist in releasing the arrested suspects unconditionally at the next court sitting slated for November 26.
‘’It is our further brief that; other persons who are still at large with their syndicate are now intensifying efforts to ensure that they and the aforementioned persons escape justice by way of perversion of the cause of justice in respect of the subject matter.’’
‘’Furthermore, we have the brief of our client that the said persons and one KABIRU ABUBAKAR SULAIMON who is a brother to one of the defendants in the said charge continue to boast that the defendants would be released unconditionally as they claim to have connection to few politicians who would lead them to the office of the Attorney General and or have enough money to access same so as to ensure the Attorney General exercises his prerogative powers under the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria to release the Defendants in the above charge unconditionally’’
‘’We believe that the office of the Attorney General is dignifiedly sacred and clothed with Honour and same deserves utmost respect or regard from all and sundry as the case maybe. The noise cum brag of the aforementioned persons to pervert cause of justice at all cost in the above mentioned charge has now become deafening in the circumstance of our client thereof Our client and members of his family are hapless and continue to live in perpetual despair and would suffer untoward agony in the event the above mentioned persons make do of their boast and intention to escape justice in respect of the said charge’’, the petition reads in part.
Furthermore, while speaking with journalists, Akeem Keshinro revealed that he can no longer sleep in his home again due to the different threats he has received for seeking justice over his brother’s death. He stated that he only stays in his house during the day but flees his home at night.
Also, Aslam Ibrahim, the youth leader in the community narrated that they were celebrating Easter at the palace when the incident happened. He made it known that they are after his life and can’t conduct his daily business freely over his involvement in seeking justice.
‘’We were celebrating Easter when the incident happened. We suddenly saw people with guns and we all ran from the palace. On the fateful day, Idowu passed by us on his way to the farm before we heard he was killed. They have been calling their family members and they have gone to the attorney general’s office to release them. I can’t work freely in the community because cultists have been all over me, I am begging the government to please help us.’’
Likewise, another victim of the suspects’ gruesome acts, Saula Lateef, an elderly man, narrated how he was beaten to a pulp by the miscreants who were confirmed to be Miyaki’s boys/
‘’I went to my site on Easter Day before deciding to go to the palace. On my way to the palace, I saw everywhere scattered and unfortunately for me, I walked into the midst of Miyaki’s boys who came to cause mayhem. I was held and beaten so much that till now, I am still unable to walk. It was a MOPO who was among them that asked them to leave me. It was few hours later that I was told that they killed Idowu Keshinro who was well known to us. Among those I saw was Mukaila, Hakeem Lawal, Jamiu Adeleja, Ahmed Tiamiyi, Ibrahim Ekemode, Walia Ojoge, Fowomeye, and others that are agents of Miyaki. We want to appeal to Governor Sanwoolu to ensure that justice is served because we are not safe here. They still have boys around and they are only waiting for those in prison to be released before they strike again.’’
Related
Crime
Update on Amen Estate Ownership: More of Babatunde Gbadamosi’s Lies Expose, all the dirty details
Published
3 months agoon
September 22, 2024Claims made by Lagos politician, Babatunde Gbadamosi over ownership of Amen Estate and it’s holding company has been debunked by inside sources.
An insider disclosed: “Mr. Babatunde Gbadamosi is a vocal but a deceptive social media activist and politician whose writings and posts often attack the establishment. It is rather contemptuous that a person who consistently calls for justice for his political party is full of lies and fakery.
“Mr. Gbadamosi’s inability to let go of Redbrick Homes demonstrates how unhinged he has become.”
“While Redbrick Homes’ lawyers have issued a press release disclaiming Mr. Gbadamosi and his claim of ownership over Amen Estate, Phases 1 and 2, and Ashlead Homes, it is crucial to inform the public that Gbadamosi has resigned as a director and left the company, since July 2021, said the source”
“As stated by Redbrick Homes in 2022, Gbadamosi was never an active director. He was a passive participant who left the company of his own free will.
“At the time, Gbadamosi was married to Sade Balogun, the true owner of Redbrick Homes and Amen Estate. He made his choices and followed them.
According to the insider, “when Gbadamosi left, he signed a document in which some of his demands for spousal settlement were met. He asked for four cars and some money in dollars. He was paid the 1st instalment and given some acres of land in Epe. However, after receiving the initial deposit, Gbadamosi almost immediately greedily breached the terms of the agreement.”
“Perhaps Gbadamosi, who fancies himself an important politician, has forgotten that there are documents bearing his signature and evidence of his settlement.” She noted.
According to our source: “Ms. Balogun, then, Mrs Gbadamosi may be the only woman in Nigeria who has paid such a large spousal settlement just to protect her children, company, and clients from potential embarrassment, knowing what a character like Mr. Gbadamosi is capable of.”
“It might surprise you to know that Gbadamosi even discredited the companies on their own websites. How can someone discredit something he claims to own? It got to the point where he responded to his daughter’s comment on Amen Estate’s Google page with a scathing tone, saying nasty things about the estate he now claims as his. What kind of father does that, and how more devious and delusional can a person get?”
The public must be reminded that Redbrick Homes International Limited, Amen City Ltd, and Ashlead Estates belong to Ms. Folasade Balogun.
Anyone can verify this at the Corporate Affairs Commission.
“Gbadamosi is a low-life impostor whose mischief and determination to bring down Redbrick Homes have become his life’s mission. However, he will not succeed because Redbrick Homes International Limited, Amen City Ltd, and Ashlead Estates are thriving and remain one of the leading and most credible property developers in Nigeria,” the insider source said.
Another company source questioned why Babatunde Gbadamosi “seems to have a dead conscience: This is a man who left his marriage only to impregnate and marry another woman. Did he really think he could destroy his marriage and also take possession of his wife’s properties? May God forgive him,” she said.
The source revealed that: “Gbadamosi was married to the said woman while still married to Sade. He cannot deny this because the marriage certificate is there for all to see. Infact, even me, I’ve seen the document. That man is very dubious , you know. He has the audacity to still be claiming Sade’s company assets as marital assets. Shouldn’t he be asking his current wife for upkeep or has she dumped him after discovering what a liar he is?” the source smirked.
Lawyers representing Redbrick Homes International Limited, Amen City Ltd, and Ashlead Estates, Babalakin & Co., have issued a press statement clarifying that Mr. Gbadamosi made false claims in every respect, as he had voluntarily relinquished his shareholding interests and resigned as a director in these companies since July 2021.
Babalakin & Co., representing Redbrick and Ms. Folasade Balogun, have refuted Mr. Babatunde Gbadamosi’s social media claim that Amen Estate and Amen Estate Phase 2 on Eleko Beach Road, Ibeju-Lekki, Lagos State, belong to him.
Their statement reads:
“We are solicitors to Redbrick Homes International Limited (Redbrick), Amen City Ltd, Ashlead Estates Ltd (Ashlead), and Ms. Folasade Balogun (formerly Mrs. Folasade Gbadamosi). Our attention has been drawn to a social media post authored by Mr. Babatunde Gbadamosi.
“In his post, Mr. Gbadamosi claims that Amen Estate and Amen Estate Phase 2 of Eleko Beach Road, Ibeju-Lekki, Lagos State, are assets of Redbrick and Ashlead. He further states that these companies belong to him and Ms. Balogun. This information is entirely false, and we advise the public to ignore it.
“Mr. Babatunde Gbadamosi voluntarily relinquished his entire shareholding interest in Redbrick and Ashlead and resigned as a director of these companies as far back as July 2021 under a notarized legal instrument. He has no interest whatsoever in these companies or any of their assets, including Amen Estate, Amen Estate Phase 2, TIARA, Emerald Bay, Emerald Park, and Amen City.
“His resignation and shareholding relinquishment have been duly filed with the Corporate Affairs Commission and are available for public verification. None of these assets are listed as ‘marital assets’ in the ongoing litigation between Mr. Babatunde Gbadamosi and Ms. Sade Balogun.”
It is also worth recalling that on February 26, 2022, Redbrick Homes management published a notice in Punch to clarify to all investors and potential investors that Mr. Babatunde Olalere Gbadamosi is no longer associated with Redbrick Homes International Ltd or its real estate projects.
“For clarity, Mr. Gbadamosi, a full-time politician, was once a passive partner and shareholder, without any financial investment, and one of the directors of Redbrick Homes International Ltd. He has since voluntarily transferred all his shares and resigned from its board as of July 1, 2021.
“The board composition, shareholding structure, and share capital of Redbrick Homes International Ltd have completely changed. Ms. Folasade Balogun remains the Chairman and Chief Executive Officer, a position she has held since the company’s inception. Under her leadership, Redbrick Homes International Ltd continues to deliver quality service to its customers without interruption.
These facts can easily be verified at the Corporate Affairs Commission,” the public notice concluded.
Meanwhile customer said “Babatunde Gbadamosi keeps nagging us non stop privately via WhatsApp chats. This is a ridiculous invasion of privacy. At first, it was trying to get us to buy some land he claimed to own at Sangotedo. And now it’s to keep making ludicrous allegations against his ex-wife who has moved on. Why can’t he leave us alone? Why can’t he also move on and leave us out of all these? I thought he remarried and just had a new baby!” An exasperated staff exclaimed!
Related
Cover Of The Week
- Sudan’s worsening famine: Conflict puts millions at risk December 24, 2024
- South Africa calls on all parties to commit to an urgent dialogue in Mozambique December 24, 2024
- Famine Spreads in Sudan as Warring Parties Willfully Obstruct Aid December 24, 2024
- Food and nutrition crisis deepens across Sudan as famine identified in additional areas December 24, 2024
- Eritrea: Effort to Enhance Agricultural Sector in Gash Barka Region December 24, 2024
- Germany supports nutrition and self-reliance for refugees in Uganda December 24, 2024
- Global Environment Facility approves $68 million for agrifood systems solutions December 24, 2024
- Sanha Lean Gas Connection Project Achieves First Gas in Milestone for Angolan Diversification December 24, 2024
- State of Libya joins Afreximbank membership agreement to boost African trade and Development Cooperation December 24, 2024
- Mercy Ships 2024: A Year of Transformative Impact December 24, 2024
- Sudan’s worsening famine: Conflict puts millions at risk December 24, 2024
- South Africa calls on all parties to commit to an urgent dialogue in Mozambique December 24, 2024
- Famine Spreads in Sudan as Warring Parties Willfully Obstruct Aid December 24, 2024
- Food and nutrition crisis deepens across Sudan as famine identified in additional areas December 24, 2024
- Eritrea: Effort to Enhance Agricultural Sector in Gash Barka Region December 24, 2024
- Germany supports nutrition and self-reliance for refugees in Uganda December 24, 2024
- Global Environment Facility approves $68 million for agrifood systems solutions December 24, 2024
Trending
-
Entertainment6 months ago
Akanke Amororo: The New Yoruba Movie Everyone Is Talking About + Why People Are Rushing To YouTube To See It
-
Politics7 months ago
Gov Fubara And One Year of His Signature in Rivers By Nath Odili
-
Business5 months ago
PROFILE: JESSICA AMARACHI OKU BY CHINEDU NSOFOR
-
Politics7 months ago
Resignation of commissioners under Gov Fubara is part of God’s plan to liberate Rivers State – Southern Forum
You must be logged in to post a comment Login